AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Levi looks behind us to where Mark is pacing in his room on the phone. “We’re just waiting to see what the solicitor says. Emma should have been given notice of his release date.”
“It’s a fucking joke. They should have given him a restraining order,” Banner bites out, squeezing me against him.
I sigh, dropping my head against the crook of his neck, my gaze fixed on Levi.
“I don’t know what they did or didn’t do. We’re still not sure if it was him she saw or not.”
Banner tenses, his head moving to look down at me. “What do you mean, you aren’t sure.”
I pull back a little, so I can see him. “It was raining. But I’m ninety-five percent sure it was him. It was like I said: one minute he was there, the next he wasn’t,” I tell him quietly. I bite my bottom lip, wondering if I should tell him about the letter. The one Mark destroyed this morning before we left to meet Jordan.
“We’re waiting to see what they say before we jump to conclusions,” Levi says, glancing away. They believed me when I said I saw someone, they just don’t know yet if it was Darren.
“If she said she saw him, then she saw him. She has no reason to lie or to conjure him up.”
I place my hand on his chest, not wanting him to get riled up. “I do, actually.”
His brow creases. “What do you mean? What aren’t you telling me?”
My eyes flicker to Levi, and not missing a beat, he gets up from his seat. “I’ll give you two some privacy and see what Mark has found out.”
He leaves us alone and Banner shifts me, so I can look up at him better. “Talk?”
I take a deep breath and start from the beginning. “Remember the stack of letters I got yesterday?” He nods, so I continue. “I went through them in class last night, since I was early. I found a letter from the prison. From Darren.”
I gasp when he lifts me off him, dropping me gently on the seat next to us. The hurt on his face instantly makes me feel guilty. He runs his fingers through his hair, looking at me like I just told him someone died. I hate that I’ve hurt him by not telling him straight away. I don’t want to see him look at me like this again, it’s breaking my heart.
“Why didn’t you tell me? What did it say?” he asks.
I place my hand on his bouncing knee. “I didn’t want to worry you, and honestly, I wanted to pretend it wasn’t there. I’m still shocked I received one from him. I don’t know what he would have to say, and frankly, I don’t want to know.”
“You didn’t read it?” he asks, his eyes round.
I shake my head. “No. I didn’t want to deal with it.”
“Where is it now? If he’s contacting you and now following you, we need to go to the police with it. Maybe they can issue a restraining order or something.”
He’s so goddamn caring, it’s humbling. But it’s not as easy as us going to the police. They’ll be questions, so many damn questions; one’s I don’t want to answer. It will bring back too many memories for me.
The court case for Darren nearly broke me. I’ve been in scary situations—I found my sister dead, for Christ sakes—but being in that court room made me feel dirty, like I was the criminal and not the victim. I felt judged, and not in a good way.
I have to look away when those memories surface. I feel dirty all over again. “Mark destroyed it this morning for me. I couldn’t touch it for a second longer—or look at it. That part of my life was horrible, Banner. I didn’t want to be reminded of it all over again. I’m doing better than I was twelve months ago. Whatever was in that letter, nothing good could come out of it. Whether he’s written something good or something bad, it won’t make me feel any better.”
He pulls me against him, hugging me tight as he kisses the top of my head. “Fuck, I’m an idiot. I didn’t think of it like that. I’m fucking sorry, Em.” He pauses, pulling back, his eyes fierce and jaw set. “I’m just worried about you. I know how hard you’ve worked to get where you are today. I don’t want you to go back to that dark place. It killed me seeing you like that. If that dickhead is back, I don’t want him setting your recovery back.”
I never knew he felt like that. It makes me feel warm inside that he cares that much. Banner may have known about me before my sister and the incident with Darren, but he’s only ever known who I am now. He’s never asked when I’ll be back to my old self again, not like my other friends did. In the end, they got fed up with trying and left. I was fine with that. But Banner… he’s always been there, and he likes who I am now, not who I was.
So, when he says something so incredibly sweet and caring, I know it’s meaningful, and that he truly believes what he’s saying.
“I will admit, it’s shocked and scared me that he’s here.Hescares me. I still have nightmares. Not as regularly as I used to, but they are there, always ready to spring up on me.” I pause, taking a deep breath. “Earlier could have been my mind playing tricks on me. I’d gotten that letter and, consciously, it was still on my mind. When I looked out that window?It was him, Banner. I know it was. I could feel it,” I tell him adamantly.
“I believe you. I’ve known you a long time, and I know you wouldn’t worry people on a guess. Did you book to see a new therapist? If he’s back, talking to a professional about it will help.”
I nod. I hate talking about this part of my life to him. It makes me look weak, and I don’t want him to see me like that. I want him to see me as the strong woman I know I can be. Not someone he pities.
“I do. Her name’s Milly Everhert. She deals with rape and abuse victims, so I wasn’t sure she’d take my case, but I heard she was the best and doesn’t hold her sessions in some stuffy office. I’ll be meeting her next Friday, before class.”
Something dawns across his expression. “I think I know who you’re talking about. She funds the counselling that is happening at the university for the victims involved in the rape case last year.”
