AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
I don’t hear CJ’s response but seconds later, he’s stepping back into the room, sitting by my side and taking my hand.
I try to find reasons as to why I’m in unbearable pain, why I feel like my insides are on fire, because the truth isn’t something I want to accept.
Why is this happening to me? It’s not fair or right. It feels like I was given a puzzle, only to have pieces missing. Why hand me such a beautiful gift, then take it away like this, so cruelly?
It’s not fair.
The door, which was only shut to, opens suddenly. Willow rushes in wearing one of Cole’s T-shirts that reaches her knees, with a pair of leggings. She’s next to me and CJ in seconds, tears already falling down her face.
“I’m so sorry, Allie. I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head at her. It’s small, but it’s all I can manage. “Everything’s fine.”
She glances up at CJ, and they share a look. I turn away. I can’t bear to see the pity on her face.
“The paramedics are here,” Cole whispers.
“Make it stop,” I cry, clinging to CJ’s hand.
CJ runs his hand over my head, watching the door for the paramedics. It’s not long before they’re filing into the room.
It’s a blur of activity as CJ lifts me onto a gurney and the paramedics load me into the ambulance.
The whole way to the hospital I concentrate on the sound of the sirens and the flashes of blue lights. I try to ignore the pain, feeling so lost and confused the whole way there.
*** *** ***
I’m sorry, you’ve lost your baby.
You’ve lost your baby.
Those are the words that have been repeating in my head ever since the doctors announced what I already knew but didn’t want to believe.
My baby is gone.
Just gone.
There isn’t a body, a foetus… Just gone.
I don’t even know if our baby was a boy or a girl. It doesn’t seem right that they don’t have a name, something for me to call them.
“Cupcake, your dad’s here with my mum,” CJ croaks out, his eyes red and watery. “Do you want me to let them in, or would you like more time alone?”
I asked for Willow and Cole to stay outside. I couldn’t bear to watch them grieve when I couldn’t make sense of why this had happened to me.
Not seven hours ago, I was fine. We had a night of fun with our friends and were happy. We had planned for our future. We went to bed smiling, excited for what the next nine months would bring us and so on.
We were happy.
Now, we’re torn apart, too lost in our grief to even think about tomorrow.
“Let them in. My dad will kick off if he doesn’t get to see if I’m okay,” I tell him softly.
He cups my cheek. “I think your dad will understand if you need more time.”
My eyes water. I didn’t think I had any more tears left, I’ve cried so much. “It’s fine. Tell Willow and Cole they can come in after. They need to go home and rest.”
