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“I can’t let that happen,” Jack says, unbuckling his seat belt and stepping from the car so quickly it startles me.
As soon as the door to the flat swings shut behind us, Jack sets my things on the floor, and then he’s kissing me again. I kick off myboots, and one goes sailing across the living room, where it smacks against one of Jack’s bookcases, and a stack of books goes tumbling to the floor.
“I haven’t even been here for sixty seconds, and I’m already making messes.”
“I don’t care,” Jack says. “Go ahead and trash the place, but can we maybe save it for later?”
“Wait. Where’s Sebastian?”
“Are you seriously thinking about my cat right now?” Jack says.
“I don’t want to psychologically damage him.”
“I have no idea where he is. It’s fine. He’s a very respectful roommate.” Jack backs me up against the wall in the entryway of the flat. “I need you,” he says. “Please let me fuck you. Or do you need to say hello to my cat first?”
I sigh. “I suppose the cat can wait.”
He looks me over, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with so much pent-up energy. I could melt beneath the intensity of that gaze. He takes a strand of my hair between his fingers, looking at it for a moment before his eyes meet mine again. “I am really, really sorry, but I don’t think I’m going to last very long.”
“I take that as a compliment.”
I shimmy my leggings down my hips as he unbuttons his jeans. We don’t even manage to get our clothes off before he puts on a condom, turns me around, and pins my wrists to the wall. As soon as he’s inside me, he buries his face into my neck with a groan.
“Fuck, you feel... just... fuck,” he says.
He says something else, but it makes absolutely no sense. He hardly lasts two minutes, and I love that I can do this to him just by existing. I love that I can unravel this man who is always so busy trying to keep himself in control. I love that he can’t help but give himself over to the way I make him feel.
When he stills, he rests his chin on my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” hesays, the words warm against my skin. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
And he does. He makes it up to me on the couch. And on the kitchen table. He makes it up to me sweetly. And urgently. And possessively. He makes it up to me until I’m sure neither of us can take any more. And then he carries me to his bed and makes it up to me one more time before I fall asleep in his arms.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispers.
I burrow closer to his chest. “Me too.”
When I fall asleep, I feel as if I spend hours dreaming. Missed flights. Lost key cards. Broken guitar strings. I dream about my gear being stolen, only this time I’m in some other town I know nothing about. I’m not even sure it exists.
I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since I left Cobh. Some nights, I wake up in the middle of seemingly endless dreams and can’t fall back asleep no matter how hard I try. It’s too disorienting when you’re never in the same place for more than a few days. Too many unfamiliar beds in unfamiliar hostels filled with unfamiliar people.
Tonight, the dreams must make me restless, because I hear Jack’s voice in my ear before I wake up on my own.
“It’s all right. It’s just a dream.”
I want to ask him what I’ve said, but he sweeps his fingers through my hair, the lightest touch in the steadiest rhythm, and I’m too tired to find the right words.
“It’s just a dream,” he repeats. “I’m right here.”
When I drift off again, I dream of home. At least, itfeelslike home. I don’t dream of Boston. I don’t even dream of Cobh. I dream of Jack’s fingers in my hair gently undoing every snag and tangle until they pass through the strands with ease.
Twenty-Seven
Jack
Raine isn’t the first person I’ve worked on since taking up tattooing again, but when I bring her to the private studio I’ve rented to set up shop, I’m nervous, hyperaware of her beside me as I unlock the door.
She passes her hand over the words I’ve stuck on the window. “Black Cat Tattoo,” she reads. “Jack, this is incredible. Why didn’t you tell me you opened a studio?”
I shrug. “Didn’t want to get your hopes up in case things didn’t work out. It’s just me in here, so it really isn’t that big a deal.”
