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“You. I don’t understand you.” I slump into the chair and cross my arms over my chest. “It’s a bit inconsiderate of you to start doingexactly what you’re supposed to when I really was hoping you’d continue enabling me.”
Ollie rolls his eyes. “Is that really what you want?”
It is, I want to say, but when I open my mouth, the truth spills out. “It’s not.”
“Then what do you want, Jackie?”
“I told you, I don’t know anymore.”
“I think you do.”
Ollie holds my gaze. I want to look away, but I can’t. Ollie is gruff and abrasive, but he’s as loyal as they come. “I want to be well,” I say.
“And will going home right now get you closer to that?”
I shake my head.
“Then don’t go home, Jackie. Stay. Just for a while.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“You can.”
I can’t look at Ollie anymore. I’m not used to this. I’m not used to him pushing me in this way.
“You wanna know why you should stay?” Ollie says.
“Because exposure response prevention therapy is incredibly effective.”
“Yeah, sure. But that’s not the only reason.”
“Go on.”
Ollie plants his elbows on the desk and leans forward. “If you leave, you’re walking away from everything you wanted. Did you see it out there?”
“It’s busy, sure, but—”
“It’s not busy, Jackie. It’s alive. There’s a difference. I know I wasn’t here for a long time, but I grew up in this pub too. I remember what it was like when Da was running the place, and yeah, it was busy at times, but it was neveralive.It was a place to go, but not a place to belong. You’ve turned this into a place tobelong, Jackie. You and Raine both.”
Raine.“Shite, she should be playing now, shouldn’t she?”
Ollie smiles. “And you’ll miss seeing your girl perform. That was gonna be reason number two you ought to stay.”
“Oh, shut your fecking gob, Ollie Wollie.”
“I don’t think I will.”
We look at each other for a moment.
“Oh, fine, I’ll stay. But I’m not sure how long I can manage.”
“You can manage plenty, if you want to.”
“You’re right annoying, you are,” I tell him.
“I do know, yeah. It’s clearly genetic. Now, get your arse out there. We’ve got a pub to run.”
Twenty-Three
