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It builds.
It becomes unendurable, a wave of need, and he has no choice but to go higher, be spun tighter as Sam continues to shudder and softly groan on top of him, lost to the pleasure of barbing his submissive.
Craig pants and struggles helplessly.
He is certain the sensation is going to crest, be like an orgasm, the best orgasm he’s ever had. When the relief comes, it’s going to be an explosive and beautiful moment that will redefine who he is and what sex means.
But that isn’t how it is because the relief never arrives.
Instead, he stays on the pinnacle and becomes slowly aware that this is all he’s getting. There is no “more.” No good nor notable end. However this stops, it won’t be at once, it won’t be because Craig got his or his Daddy made sure he was satisfied.
This is an endurance test. Pleasure for his Dominant, denial and wanting for him.
This is his lot as a submissive.
The epitome of what it means to be submissive.
He would sell his soul to come. It wouldn’t take much. He knows exactly what he needs, his Daddy slamming into his hole, hitting his gland and prostate, and he’d be pushed over the edge. But his Dominant is stuck tight, can’t move, and isn’t even coherent.
There is no orgasm. There won’t be release and relief. This is all he’ll get. The weight of his Daddy on top of him, the knowledge that he’s given him unimaginable pleasure, that he’s serving his purpose… and aren’t those beautiful things?
Craig’s body goes quiet with a heavy sigh, and something in his mind shuts down or lights up. This is everything.
The agony of frustration is his devotion to Sam.
That’s the revelation.
This is denial.
The total sublimation of himself for his Daddy’s pleasure. He’s perfect at this moment. It’s such an odd thought that he rejects it. It’s too big, too grand.
It comes back again. What if he is perfect?
No one has ever thought him perfect; how can he be the first? What sort of narcissism is that to decide he is worthy and perfect in this moment? Isn’t that something someone has to give and bequeath? Isn’t it wrong to claim that for himself?
But if he doesn’t love himself, then how can anyone else do it? If he can’t know he’s perfect, then surely his Daddy couldn’t find him to be? And his Daddy doesn’t matter right now. Because his Daddy is lost to the world, and Craig is the one who’s burning and enduring, consumed by so much love and devotion that he has no choice but to turn it inward.
Accept it for himself.
This is perfect, and he is perfect. He’s given everything, and he is everything.
“I love you,” Craig says, but Sam can’t hear him. I love this. I love myself as this, he thinks, but he can’t say it aloud. And he doesn’t need to. That’s his quiet knowledge, meant for only himself to know.
How would he even explain this profound experience to someone else? There’s no reason for it to be good, for it to feel right, but it does. The disparity between them—one of them lost to pleasure, Craig lost to pain, knowing that there isn’t anything more submissive than what he’s doing now, what he’s giving his Dominant.
It’s all he’s ever wanted.
And it’s perfect.
24
Sam hadn’t known what to expect. When Dominants talked of barbing submissives, they didn’t say anything articulate. It’s just described as “intense.” Intense and like an orgasm but “more.” More is not a word that he could make much sense of in this particular context.
Yes, it had felt very, very good. Like an orgasm, but… more. Okay, fine. There really isn’t a better way to describe it.
He’d felt it in every part of his body and had to endure, that’s how it felt toward the end. Yes, it was good, and he’s glad he experienced it, but what he hadn’t expected was how much it would feel like a loss of control.
As good as barbing felt in the moment, it’s definitely exhausting to come endlessly and despite himself. He was just… in it. The pleasure would end when it ended, not when he wanted. And the truth of it is that it had made him panic, had him clutching hard at Craig as if his submissive could save him or make it stop.
