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“No. Well, a couple of them did, but most of them, it was in their actions. Most of the time, people are approved to foster kids, but they don’t know who they’re going to end up with. So maybe they want a baby, and they get an angry thirteen-year-old instead, and it’s not what they were hoping for. It’s not like they’re horrible or mean about it most of the time; it’s just that I’m not what they wanted.”
I shrug like it doesn’t bother me, even though it still stings. I know it wasn’t anyone else’s responsibility to take care of me because my parents should’ve done that, but I just wish they wouldn’t put me with families who wanted something so different from me.
“I’m really sorry.” Shanna reaches over and takes my hand. “I hate that you had to grow up like that.”
“It’s whatever.”
She smiles sadly. “It’s really not whatever. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it anymore, but I hope you know that we’d love to keep in contact even after we’re done. I’m always here if you ever do want to share more.”
I squeeze her hand in return, my shoulders feeling a little lighter. It’s nice of her to let me know she’ll be there if I ever do, I doubt I could ever really talk to anyone about everything that went on with my dad and some of the bad foster homes. Maybe it’s not healthy, but I feel like all of that should stay buried in the past, where it doesn’t hurt as much.
Eight
Lucas
When I pick Shawn up for dinner, he’s back in a T-shirt and ripped jeans, and he looks so fucking perfect that I want to push him back into his hotel room and fuck him senseless. Instead, I clear my throat and ask, “You ready to go?”
“Yeah.” He gives me a shy smile before following me out of the hotel. “How was work?”
“Good. Got a bit of a sunburn, but the money makes it worth it.”
“Oh, god, I feel that. Some couple hired me once to do their engagement photos, and they wanted them taken while they were having sex.”
I pull open the door to my car but pause to look over the roof at him. “Arey you serious?”
“Yeah. Fortunately, I managed to talk them out of it when I told them their parents would see the photos.”
“Wow. You think a photographer would have tamer stories about their job.”
Shawn gets in the car and pulls his seatbelt on. “Most of them are. Some just think that sending nude photos as their engagement pictures is classy and unique.”
I pull out of the parking lot and onto the freeway. “What about the couple you’re working with now? You like them?”
“Oh, yeah, they’re great. They’re really fun and down to earth.”
“I’m glad you got into a job you really like.”
“Thanks.” His voice goes quiet, and he turns his gaze out the window. “It’s definitely better than some of the other jobs I worked.”
“Like what?”
He doesn’t respond, and an uncomfortable silence settles in the car. I don’t pressure him to say anything. He’ll either tell me or he’ll change the subject, and I’ll be fine with either.
Finally, he says softly, “I slept with some people for cash. But I don’t really want to talk about it.”
My throat constricts, and I do my best to keep my focus solely on the road instead of looking at Shawn like I desperately want to. I’d thought maybe he’d done something like that when he first came to live with us, but hearing him say it now breaks my heart.
“I’m sorry if that’s weird for you,” he mumbles.
“It’s not.” I reach over and take his hand. “It’s not. I promise.”
“I—” Shawn stops as I park the car at the curb of my parents’ house. Then he turns to face me, his eyes wide. “What are we doing here?”
“Going to dinner. I told you that.” I try to push as much innocence into my voice as I can, but I’m not sure it works.
“You didn’t say anything about it being dinner with your parents.” Shawn shakes his head. “They probably hate me. If you were pissed at me, there’s no way they aren’t.”
“Just relax. Mom’s the one who invited you, okay? She wants to see you again.” I wait because if he really wants to leave, I’ll take him back.
