Page 17 of Ruin Me Softly


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Ten

Lucas

When I pull away from Shawn, I lower my gaze to meet his, unsurprised at the sadness in his eyes. Shawn’s always been like that. Too much pain for any one person to carry by himself.

I lift my hand and cup his cheek, my body warming at the way my thumb catches along the stubble on Shawn’s face. For so long, he was stuck in my mind as the same sixteen-year-old he was when he left. Now he’s a man. Still not as tall as me. Still mostly sharp angles. Still covered in scars.

Fuck, I’ve missed him.

I meet his gaze, making sure he’s okay with it before I lower my head and press my lips to his. He responds immediately, his fingers digging into my upper arms as he kisses me back. His tongue slides into my mouth, but I don’t let him dominate the moment. I let him do that when were kids, but it’s mine turn now.

I slide one hand down to his ass and grab a handful of him, making him whimper into my mouth. He allows me to back him up into the wall, and I keep a firm hold on his ass, pressing hard against it so his crotch pushes into mine.

He breaks our kiss to pull in a breath, and then his lips are on my neck, sucking and licking my skin.

“Do you have any idea how much I’ve thought about this?” I ask, my voice husky. “The other night was barely enough for me. I want you under me all the time. Every day and night. I want to be so deep inside you that you don’t ever forget what it feels like.”

“Then do it.” The words shake as they come out of him. His cock is pressing hard into me, and he tries to move his hips for friction, but I squeeze his ass hard.

“None of that. We’re doing this my way tonight.”

“We did it your way last night,” he replies with a grunt when I pinch his ass.

“And we’re doing it my way again. And again. You’re the one who said to fuck you for all the times I wanted it and you weren’t there. Well, I wanted it a hell of a lot, Shawn. And I’m not going to be shy about collecting.”

A shiver runs through him, and he pulls back from kissing my neck to meet my gaze. His eyes are wary, letting me know he’s just the smallest bit nervous. The other night when we were together, everything happened so fast, I don’t think he realized how much he was submitting to me. But now, he’s about to give it up consciously.

He swallows before giving me one nod.

I relax my hold on his ass and pat it once. “Good boy. Get out of those clothes.”

Shawn obeys immediately, though he still does it with his front to me, unwilling to show me his back. I’ll have to get him to change that eventually. I want to see every bit of him, scars and all.

“Are you gonna behave this time or do I need to tie you to the bed again?”

He bristles and glances away from me, making me realize I said something wrong.

“Shawn—”

He blinks and clears his throat before meeting my eyes again. “No, you don’t need to tie me down. I’ll behave.”

His voice doesn’t have the confidence it did just seconds ago. Instead he sounds like…like how he sounded when he came to live with us. Wondering if we were going to treat him as badly as the last foster home he was in.

“I’m sorry.” I reach a hand out and cup the back of his neck. “I’d never really hurt you. You know that, don’t you?”

A blush steals over his cheeks and he scoffs. “Of course I know that. Now are you gonna fuck me or what?”

Part of me wants to tell him no, but I know he won’t respond well to that. He’s embarrassed by what he sees as a weakness, even though his flash of fear was an understandable reaction.

So I let him shrug it off like he wants to. I’ll just be more careful with what I say. I’d never want to send his thoughts back to anything horrific he went through.

“If you want me to fuck you, take my clothes off.”

His mouth picks up in a little smile, and he reaches for the buttons on my dress shirt. But instead of undoing them one by one, he grips the shirt and jerks it open, popping the buttons off. The little things scatter across the floor, and I jerk back in surprise.

Shawn laughs a little and tugs the shirt off me. “You look sexy even when you’re startled.”

It’s a little strange to know he thinks of me that way. I knew on some level, but it feels hotter hearing him actually say it.

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