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“Oh.” Internally, I cringe a little. That thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. Growing up, I never had to worry about where I’d sleep at night, or if I’d be in a safe place. So to me, a car is a car is a car. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about that.”
His smile is a little bitter. “Yeah, I figured. But…I appreciate you helping me with it. Killian was nice. He told me you were here.”
“I’ll thank him for that later.”
His grin turns a little more genuine, but the wariness still lingers in his eyes. “Well…thanks.”
He starts to turn and walk away, so I call his name.
“You want to go get some lunch?” I ask.
“Really?” He frowns. “You want to have lunch with me?”
I shrug. “Sure. Why not?”
He glances back at the rental car and runs his index finger along his upper lip. I’d forgotten he did that when he’s thinking. “Okay. But I don’t have long. I’m photographing a couple at three this afternoon.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” I give him the address to meet me at, then get back in my car. A part of me wonders if he’ll really meet me at the diner. He’d looked a little uncertain, but maybe that’s just leftover stuff from him leaving in the past. I’ve grown a lot since the last time I saw Shawn, and I’m guessing he has too. I need to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Five
Shawn
I’m seriously considering not going to the address of the diner that Lucas gave me. I’m still irritated that he towed my car without telling me, but I also feel kind of strange about what happened last night. It was fucking amazing, but maybe it was a mistake.
All those feelings I used to have when I lived with them just came rushing back. Lucas’s house was the first place I ever truly felt safe. His parents—Richard and Katharine—were nice, but it was Natalie and Lucas who I connected with. They took me right into their circle of friends without hesitation.
On one of my first nights there, I had a nightmare, the kind that’s a memory that won’t leave. Lucas had been staying with a friend, and it was Natalie I woke with my scream. She’d come to my room and gotten in the bed with me. I didn’t speak a word at the time. I couldn’t. But she stayed with me until I fell back asleep. She never brought it up either.
I blink wetness from my eyes and focus on the road. Natalie didn’t deserve to die. If I could, I would’ve taken it from her. She had a whole family that loved her. I had nothing. Fate should’ve latched onto me instead.
When the diner comes into view, I take a deep breath before steering the car into a parking space. Lucas’s truck is already parked in a spot closer to the back. The cab is empty.
My fingers tighten on the steering wheel. I could just leave. I’m sure Lucas is inside thinking I might not even show up. It’s so much easier to just leave before you get attached to anyone. I let myself love Lucas and Natalie, and I lost them both.
I might’ve acted like last night was nothing but an itch to scratch, but I feel the truth burrowing deep inside me. If I let Lucas back into my life, I’m going to fall in love with him again.
***
Despite my logical side trying to fight me, I go inside the diner to meet up with Lucas. No matter what happens between us, it won’t matter. Because I already have jobs lined up after Charleston, and I’m not just going to blow those off to stay with Lucas. I left him once before and it didn’t kill me. I can do it again.
He glances up when I walk in the door, and I don’t miss the flash of disbelief in his eyes that he tries to hide. Last night, he made it seem like missing me was all about the physical aspects of the relationship we once had, but there’s a vulnerability on his face right now that says otherwise.
When I reach the table, I take the booth across from him and rest my arms on the cold Formica.
Lucas’s gaze drops to my hands, and his eyes darken. “Shawn…you should’ve told me the belt was too tight.”
“Huh?” For a second, I don’t know what he’s talking about, but I follow his gaze to my hands, where purple bruises encircle both my wrists. “Oh. Don’t worry about those. I didn’t even really notice them.”
That only makes his eyes darken further. “You know it’s not healthy to be in pain and not even notice it.”
“I’m not in pain.” I press on the bruise on my left arm to prove it and then wish I hadn’t because it actually does sting a little. But I hide it and glance back up at him. “Relax, Lucas. I’m a grown-up, okay? I can take care of myself.”
“But—”
“And I liked it,” I interrupt. “So just leave it alone.”
The smallest glint of pride shines in his eyes, pushing away some of the darkness. “Okay. Fine. But next time, I’m tying the knot a little looser.”
