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“Contact paper?” My eyebrows furrowed.
“Yes. But this was your birdie. It’s why we had detention for a week.”
“My art project got you detention?” We spent so much time in detention in high school that the reasons we were there didn’t really stick out.
“You had art right before we both had gym, remember?” No. I remembered so little from high school. “I would always meet you outside the door to the girls’ locker room before class. That day you came waltzing over, birdie on your finger, and started making it flap its wings about an inch from my eyeball.” He moved my finger up and down to make the “wings” flap.
“You know that whole year, whenever we ran the track, I listened to ‘Keep ‘em Separated’ by the Offspring because it reminded me of us?” I smiled. I must have listened to that song every damn day, which is probably why it’s one of the few things I remember from that time.
“I forgot about that.” His lips slowly eased up into a soft grin. “You said I caused you to turn to angry music.”
I laughed. “You did. You were the most frustrating person ever.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Anyway, you were in rare form that day. Not sure what you were on, but you had turned up the flirt factor to a thousand. I was a nineteen-year-old guy with a crush on his beautiful best friend, so I took advantage of the situation.”
“How?” I fluttered the ‘birdie’ in his face. I wish I could remember anything about this.
“I picked you up to carry you to the back door. My plan was to just ditch the rest of the day, but you stuck this stupid thing in my eye, and we went crashing into a wall. The commotion brought a few teachers over. Apparently, laying on top of a girl in the hallway was detention worthy.”
“Sounds about right.” I snorted. “You saved this stupid piece of sticky paper all this time?”
He nodded. “I did.”
“Why?”
“I’m a fucking sap when it comes to you, that’s why.” He was quiet for a minute, his arm pulling me in closer to him. “That was the day I realized you were it for me.”
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn’t remember the day this happened. For me, it was just another day, but for him, this was a key memory between us. “I’m sorry I ran away from you the day you kissed me. I was an idiot.”
“Yes, you were.” He smiled. “But we needed to get our shit together. It’s good we went our separate ways for a while.”
Memories of the years that followed without him flooded my senses. The loneliness I felt. Every day, I wondered if he was dead or in jail. I wouldn’t wonder this time. This time, he would truly be dead.
I couldn’t hold back the pent-up words I needed to say anymore. “How am I gonna live without you, Eli? I don’t want to do it. I can’t do it. You are it for me too, and somehow, I’m supposed to just carry on without you.” Tears were running down his cheeks now, too, and it made me feel worse. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t want to go, baby, but I don’t have a choice. It’ll be okay. You’re a strong woman. You’re going to pick up the pieces and someday you’ll find someone new.”
I was sobbing at this thought. There’s no fucking way I’d ever love anyone the way I loved Eli. “I don’t want to.”
“You don’t have a choice. Neither of us do.”
“You go, I go, remember?”
His expression immediately darkened. “Don’t you fucking dare, Catherine.” He pulled my face to look at him. “Wyatt needs you. You can’t come with me. I have to go, and you have to stay.”
“I’ll always love you,” I choked out.
“I know, baby. I know.”
“How am I supposed to walk away, E? You carried me away from my father’s grave and I had a shit relationship with him. So how am I supposed to let them take you from me?”
“Sssh. There will be others here to help you. I will always be here,”—he kissed my temple—“and here.” He pressed a hand over my heart. “I know it will be hard. It’s so hard thinking about leaving you too, but when it’s time, you will have to walk away.”
“We were supposed to be old and ugly together,” I whimpered.
“You’ll never be ugly, so that was never going to happen.” He ran a hand through my hair gently. “Promise me, Katie,” he whispered. “Promise me you’ll live your life. Really live it.”
“Eli,” I pleaded. Tears ran down both of our faces. “I’m going to miss you so fucking much.”
