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Christian blinks once - surprised, I think, by the vehemence in my voice. Deftly, he picks at an invisible piece of lint on his knee with long skilled fingers. It's distracting. He's doing it on purpose. I narrow my eyes at him.
"I like to make the odd impromptu visit. It keeps management on their toes, wives in their place. You know." He shrugs, his mouth set in an arrogant line.
Wives in their place! "I had no idea you could spare the time," I snap.
His eyes frost. "Why don't you want to change your name here?" he asks, his voice deathly quiet.
"Christian, do we have to discuss this now?"
"I'm here. I don't see why not."
"I have a ton of work to do, having been away for the last three weeks."
He gazes at me, his eyes cool and assessing - distant even. I marvel that he can appear so cold after last night, after the last three weeks. Shit. He must be so mad - really mad. When will he learn not to overreact?
"Are you ashamed of me?" he asks, his voice deceptively soft. What? "No! Christian, of course not." I scowl at him. "This is about me - not you." Jeez, he's exasperating sometimes. Silly overbearing megalomaniac.
"How is this not about me?" He cocks his head to one side, genuinely perplexed, some of his detachment slipping as he stares at me with wide eyes, and I realize that he's hurt. Holy f**k. I've hurt his feelings. Oh no . . . he's the last person I want to hurt. I have to make him see my logic. I have to explain my reasoning for my decision.
"Christian, when I took this job, I'd only just met you," I say patiently, struggling to find the right words. "I didn't know you were going to buy the company - "
What can I say about that event in our brief history? His deranged reasons for doing so - his control freakery, his stalker tendencies gone mad, given completely free rein because he is so wealthy. I know he wants to keep me safe but it's his ownership of SIP that is the fundamental problem here. If he'd never interfered, I could continue as normal and not have to face the disgruntled and whispered recriminations of my colleagues. I put my head in my hands just to break eye contact with him.
"Why is it so important to you?" I ask, desperately trying to hold on to my fraying temper. I look up at his impassive stare, his eyes luminous, giving nothing away, his earlier hurt now hidden. But even as I ask the question, deep down I know the answer before he says it.
"I want everyone to know that you're mine."
"I am yours - look." I hold up my left hand, showing my wedding and engagement rings.
"It's not enough."
"Not enough that I married you?" My voice is barely a whisper. He blinks at me, registering the horror on my face. Where can I go from here? What else can I do?
"That's not what I mean," he snaps and runs a hand through his overlong hair so that it flops onto his forehead.
"What do you mean?"
He swallows. "I want your world to begin and end with me," he says, his expression raw. His comment completely derails me. It's like he's punched me hard in the stomach, winding and wounding me. And the vision comes to mind of a small, frightened, copper-haired grayeyed boy in dirty, mismatched, ill-fitting clothes.
"It does," I say without guile, because it's the truth. "I'm just trying to establish a career, and I don't want to trade on your name. I have to do something, Christian. I can't stay imprisoned at Escala or the new house with nothing to do. I'll go crazy. I'll suffocate. I've always worked, and I enjoy this. This is my dream job; it's all I've ever wanted. But doing this doesn't mean I love you less. You are the world to me." My throat swells and tears prick the back of my eyes. I must not cry, not here. I repeat it over and over in my head. I must not cry. I must not cry.
He stares at me, saying nothing. Then a frown crosses his face as if he's considering what I've said.
"I suffocate you?" His voice is bleak, and it's an echo of a question he's asked me before.
"No . . . yes . . . no." This is such an exasperating conversation - not one that I want to have now, here. I close my eyes and rub my forehead, trying to fathom how we got to this.
"Look, we were talking about my name. I want to keep my name here because I want to put some distance between you and me . . . but only here, that's all. You know everyone thinks I got the job because of you, when the reality is - " I stop, when his eyes widen. Oh no . . . it is because of him?
"Do you want to know why you got the job, Anastasia?"
Anastasia? Shit. "What? What do you mean?"
He shifts in his chair as if steeling himself. Do I want to know?
"The management here gave you Hyde's job to babysit. They didn't want the expense of hiring a senior executive when the company was mid-sale. They had no idea what the new owner would do with it once it passed into his ownership, and wisely, they didn't want an expensive redundancy. So they gave you Hyde's job to caretake until the new owner" - he pauses, and his lips twitch in an ironic smile - "namely me, took over."
Holy crap! "What are you saying?" So it was because of him. Fuck!
I'm horrified.
He smiles and shakes his head at my alarm. "Relax. You've more than risen to the challenge. You've done very well." There's the tiniest hint of pride in his voice, and it's almost my undoing.
"Oh," I murmur incoherently, reeling from this news. I sit right back in my chair, open-mouthed, staring at him. He shifts again.
"I don't want to suffocate you, Ana. I don't want to put you in a gilded cage. Well . . ." He pauses, his face darkening. "Well, the rational part of me doesn't." He strokes his chin thoughtfully as his mind concocts some plan.
