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As the famous and incomparable Lady Gaga once said, “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
Stephen interrupted my musings. “Anyway, now we just need to get some shots of you here in the studio, then we’re done for the day.”
I stood up, having seen enough of these dating shows on Netflix to know that this was a way for people watching to get a full view of me. The backdrop was a beautiful midnight blue with bright neon lights—perfect for my white blouse and black skirt to pop against. The lights flared, and the neon strips behind me glowed brighter.
“Good. Walk from the back toward us. Let’s get the wind machine on! Work those hips, girl!” Stephen shouted like he was doing an editorial photo session. I scowled at him, feeling on the spot, but I played along all the same. I may not be a model for the clothes I designed, but I showed them off on social media enough to have a small handle on how it went.
I was selling myself to the viewers for their votes, and while I wanted to be liked for who I was, I knew confidence was the biggest seller of all.
Forty minutes later, I gulped water and caught my breath.
Stephen joined me on the set and was all smiles. “You did great, Sophie!”
“Thanks, Stephen. That was actually pretty fun.”
“It’s going to be more fun on the island. We’ll get you and the other participants there, introduce you to each other—on camera, of course, because we need the reactions—and it won’t feel so much like a stage act. Mostly, the cameras in the villas will get the footage, aside from the few times we’ll send a camera crew in for challenges and workshops.” He sounded like he was living for the drama that would undoubtedly unfold.
I nodded. I’d seen enough of these types of shows to guess that.
“Anyway, get those bags packed! The flights are in a week. Do you need anything else?” he asked.
“No, the contract was pretty straightforward, and the packing list you guys sent over was helpful. I’m excited to get out of town for a bit.” The producers were thorough. I’d give them that. We all had to be screened for STDs before we were accepted—and it was highly encouraged to be on birth control, and the contract stated that there would be plenty of condoms in the villa. On top of all that, we were required to have another test the day before we left home. I was glad they took that aspect of our health seriously when anything was permissible on the island.
“I checked out your socials and business when we were vetting you. I think you put in as many hours as I do.” Stephen laughed. “Take that vacation and let yourself have some fun.”
He had no idea. I lived and breathed for my career, constantly telling myself if I could just reach the next level, I would finally earn some time off. Instead of sticking with that plan, when this opportunity slid into my inbox—thanks to Es—I grabbed it with both hands once the initial hesitation wore off.
I justified it as a working vacation. While Esmeralda handled the day-to-day running of So Free, my job was to gain some exposure for the brand while soaking up that Caribbean sunshine. And who knew? Maybe I’d find someone to connect with? A girl could hope.
* * *
I wasin a cabin on a small ship headed from Haiti to the remote island we would film on. We’d all been blindfolded in our hotel rooms, driven separately, and led onto the vessel, keeping the mystery alive for the big debut.
Yes, the blindfold was still on, even though I was alone in here.
Sticking my arms out, I measured the room by feeling. It was about half the size of my bathroom back home. I nearly fell ass over tit while trying to measure when the small ship hit a dip. Then I started singing, “I put my hand upon your hip, when I dip, you dip, we dip.”
I was already in my debut outfit; a sleek black one-piece—one of my designs that made me feel sultry—a hot pink sarong I’d grabbed from Target before I left, and a pair of wedge sandals.
I was certain the other ladies on the show would wear skimpy bikinis to show off their best assets, but I knew my appeal came from confidence. Not that I thought I wasn’t pretty; without sounding arrogant, I knew I was. But I was already feeling out of my element, and giving myself a boost was a sure-fire way to help me feel at ease. With the strategic cutouts and low back, I knew this was a winner for me in particular. Step one in being a badass was knowing what worked for your body type and rocking that confidence.
A knock sounded on my door, dragging me out of my thoughts, which meant it was time to disembark. And, of course, we had to do that blindfolded too.
Have you ever disembarked a boat while blindfolded? No?
Let me tell you, it is an adventure. I swayed like a drunk girl at a frat party when I stepped from the deck onto solid ground. Knocking into the crew member helping me, I almost sent both of us into the sea for a quick swim.
“So, what’s your name? Come here often?” I joked. “We really should get to know each other in case I maul you again.”
The crew member let out a feminine laugh. “Jess. Good to meet you, though I usually require a drink first.”
My stomach rolled. “Ugh, don’t mention booze just yet.” Just the thought of alcohol made my already queasy, seasick tummy flip.
Jess just laughed and led me away from the vessel from hell, through the sand, onto concrete, and into a room. Only once the door was shut behind us did she remove my blindfold. As soon as my eyes adjusted and my stomach stopped trying to escape, I noted how beautiful the space was.
The walls were a pristine white with matching rattan furniture decorated with turquoise cushions and fuchsia accent pillows. Sheer curtains blew in the breeze as the warm air filtered through the open windows. The vista outside the window seemed so peaceful. It may very well be the calm before the storm, but at that moment, I took my first deep breath since leaving home.
There was a clause in the contract that offered an out if anyone wanted it for any reason, but I had signed up for this and was determined to see it through. My integrity wouldn’t let me just abandon ship before even trying.
