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It seemed like they were just as content to break us up as my irrational brain was, or was it rational at this point?
Instead, adding fuel to the fire, my partner was Aaron. He peeked around the partition separating us.
“Hey, Sophie girl,” he said, beaming at me.
“Hey, Aaron.”
“Fancy seeing you here.” He waggled his eyebrows and laughed.
Brienne cut in, “Please turn on your stool so you’re facing the divider and your partner.”Thank Christ.Because directly behind me was Diego, who had been paired with Cheryl.
I turned on my stool, facing the divider.
“If you look at your partition, you’ll find a set of questions for your partner. This is all about facing your fears in relationships. Sometimes, the smallest thing holds us back, and it’s up to you to face those fears and think about how they impact your love life. Please take turns asking each other questions and answering. The cameras will move around, getting bits and pieces. Oh, and your microphones too, but try to ignore that you’re being watched and listened to. Turn inward and focus on getting acquainted with yourself. This may be a dating show, but there’s always opportunity for growth within, and our aim is for you to take the tools you learn here today and implement them into your lives at home.”
In my head, I could picture Esmeralda pumping her fists in the air and cheering. She was often quick to point out that I kept hiding for fear of rejection or pain.
“Ladies will ask first,” Brienne announced. “Without further ado, please begin.”
I swallowed down my pride and admitted that she was right. Even if nothing worked out between Oliver or Diego, this was a chance for me to better myself and be a better partner for whoever I ended up with. Even if that was just my cactus. I’d be the best cactus mom in the whole world.
After all, what was the expression? You couldn’t love anyone else unless you loved yourself first.
I pulled the stack of cards from the little holder and cleared my throat like a news anchor before the eleven pm broadcast.
Aaron chuckled at me. “Hey, Sophie girl, take a deep breath. It’s just me and you here.”
Nodding, even though he couldn’t see me, I asked, “You ready?”
“Born ready.”
How did his confidence come so naturally? I felt like I faked it half the time—not to mention faking other things, but that wasn’t the focus today.
Flipping the cards over, I found the first question.
“What is your biggest failure?” I read aloud. “Jesus, they’re starting with the big guns, aren’t they?”
Aaron chuckled. “Yeah, but this one is actually okay.” His voice became more serious, and I listened with rapt attention as he divulged something I wouldn’t have known about him otherwise. “I flunked out of college. Mom and I scrimped and saved to send me, and despite doing my best, I just couldn’t hack it. For the longest time, I kicked my own ass about it, but even though I had failed, I was secretly glad I failed freshman year instead of senior.”
His voice grew heavy, and he cleared his throat. “Mom took on a second job to help pay for the tuition, and I was working at a gas station on weekends to cover food and shit. Mostly, it felt like a failure because it was such a waste of her money.”
“What did you study?” I asked when he took a breath.
“Communications. But it was freshman year, so I had a bunch of general classes, and I barely even scratched the surface of the major.”
“Is your mom upset about you flunking out?”
He laughed. “Not at all, which, of course, further proves that Mom’s a saint and I don’t deserve her.”
“I hear that. When I was about eleven, I knocked over this vase my mom had always warned me to be careful around. It fell to the floor and shattered into a million pieces. She’d said it was her grandmother’s, and when it came time to tell her, she saw how upset I was. Instead of grounding me, she just kissed my head and said it was okay.”
I chuckled at what came next. “My dad came up to my room, because I’d grounded myself during my apology, and told me to let it go. He had broken the original vase two years before, and the one I’d smashed was one he picked up on eBay that looked similar. Mom never noticed.”
Aaron laughed. “Are you serious? She couldn’t tell it was different?”
“Nope!” I said, popping thep. “But I think when our parents see we’re regretful and already beating ourselves up over something, it makes it hard for them to get mad at us too. We’re always hardest on ourselves, you know?”
Aaron hummed thoughtfully.
