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"Until you did an eight-hour flight to remind me of the deal."
"Until I realized I couldn't do it if I was dealing with women like… Nancy."
"Your ex-girlfriend?"
"My last playmate. I dumped her before I got on the plane."
I narrowed my eyes. Not because I wanted to pass judgment on Kaden's numerous playmates. But because I suddenly wondered how long he could stand this arrangement with me. Someone who didn't know better was bound to slip up sooner or later.
"If I am no longer able to entertain you, will you do the same to me? Please don't get me wrong. I'm glad we've picked up where we left off with our friendship– but I wonder how long that's going to last when… well…"
He tilted his head. "I told you, Nika. We can leave it out if it doesn't fit."
"But you've never done it that way with any other woman, have you? Until now it always ended with you dumping her sooner or later."
Kaden remained silent. For a long, agonizing moment he remained absolutely silent. "Do you remember the fight we had when we were thirteen?"
"When we found ourselves outside the headmaster's office?"
"Exactly."
"You never told me why you ended up there."
"That's what I'm getting at. Up until that school year, I thought my family was fine. That there were no problems and that everyone was content and happy. I was as far off as I could be– the night before I saw my mum hit my dad. He was in A&E, claiming it was a bar fight. To make a long story short, until that night, I always thought I would have a relationship like theirs one day. After that night, I decided to cut out the one component that made it possible in the first place."
"Kaden…" I began.
"No. I'm not done yet," he replied promptly. "I hate all of this. Not the resort or what I've achieved. It's the loneliness. I can't share any of it with anyone except my sister. And just before I decided to go to Iowa, I remembered what it was like with us. How you made sure everything was all right. And I wanted that back. Rather selfish, don't you think? Ripping you out of your life and finding an excuse just so I wouldn't feel lonely anymore."
I opened my mouth. I raised an eyebrow. And yet I didn't know what to say.
"It doesn't stop there. When I ambushed you with that deal… It was clear to me that I would never be in love because of my mother and her actions. So it seemed right to eventually marry my best friend and hope for the best. Because all I want is sex. You as my best friend and damn good sex. Nothing more."
At his words, one realization followed the other. And where others might have felt betrayed, I realized that the next twelve months with Kaden would not just be about what he wanted. No, it would be an intense therapy because if Kaden thought he was immune to feelings and love simply because he was afraid of becoming like his mother, or of meeting a woman like his mother, then there were probably more serious problems than just being alone. But I wouldn't hand it to him on a silver platter.
"I have no idea how this is going to work, K, but I hope for your sake you've thought about the contract."
"That's an abrupt change of subject," he remarked skeptically.
"What am I supposed to say? There are so many people who come from broken homes. You're not the only one."
"Of course not. Then tell me how it's worked out for you." My parents' separation had been ugly, and even before my father took us to Iowa, it had often been up to me to take care of my sisters.
"That's a very unfair statement, and you know it," I replied, shaking my head. "You can't use the information from those sessions against me like that. If I make myself vulnerable in front of you, I want you to handle it accordingly. I'm not going to judge you for anything you choose to confide in me."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw him clench his hand into a fist before he let out a loud gasp and finally relented. "Okay. That wasn't fair. I just expected you to get angry and storm off."
"Why? Because you're human?" I snorted. Kaden and I had been through so many different things that a selfish act on his part didn't tip the scales in one direction. Somehow I had been aware that he had not flown to Iowa out of selflessness. Everyone acted for a reason; in Kaden's case it had been a mixture of desperation, loneliness, and perhaps destiny. Maybe his subconscious knew the answer. Maybe Kaden was just in need of someone to set him on the right path and make sure he found happiness.
So, while I would use Kaden to get to know myself a little better, I would also make sure that Kaden would recognize one fact.
"You didn't betray me. You weren't an asshole. You gave me good reasons. You don't force me to do anything. Even if I sometimes tell myself I'm not, I do everything of my own free will. So why should I run away when I can just as easily talk to you about it?"
"There's always the accusation that I'm just taking advantage of you," he interjected.
"Oh, come on, K. We both know that's not true. At least not in the negative way you have in mind with that word."
"So no problems between us?"
