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"Then I'm sorry. I didn't know it could affect you like that. I thought of a lot of things, but this wasn't one of them."
"It's not your fault. It never was. It just had a massive effect on me," I explained. "That's why Kaia made me think I should see a psychologist. Not just for me, but for both of us."
She shook her head. "A few hours and everything changes again. Can we record for the future that we are no longer looking for ways out?"
"I'll at least try."
"Good, because I'm still not over the fact that you never said a word, and everything depended on whether or not I happened to fall in love with you."
"I want to write idiot on my forehead."
In the last few minutes, the invisible weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I had not expected the conversation to go like this. I had thought we would argue. Loudly. A little over the top. And in an unnecessarily hurtful way. But the conversation we had was proof that we had both grown as people, and in the way we treated each other. The unnecessary drama didn't exist, at least not when we managed to talk to each other and get rid of what was weighing us both down.
It may be that not everything went well right from the start. But the last few minutes clearly showed that I was capable of being the dominant part of her submissive side and the man who could find a place at her side if I stood up for what was happening inside me. It wasn't difficult. I just had to get into the habit of not burying everything down deep and hoping it wouldn't bother me anymore.
I held out my hand to Nika in a sort of final peace offering. Without hesitation, she put her hand in mine.
"Promise me that nothing will change," she asked, looking directly at me. I wasn't sure if she was saying this for herself or out of consideration for what I had revealed to her.
"Nothing will change," I confirmed, after thinking about what was really going to change. We had already dealt with each other as a couple before. We didn't need to adjust that, nor was it new. And all the other elements already had the same baseline. So why change something that has always worked? "But I would definitely like to introduce you as my girlfriend in the future. Or as my future wife, because I won't deviate from the deal."
"And the dates?" she snorted amusedly.
"Are history. If I go on any again, it will be with you. And no one else. So are we agreed?"
"More than clear," Nika replied quietly, leaning forward.
I placed a finger under her chin, pulled her closer and took possession of her mouth, knowing that the rest of her body would follow. Her lips pressed against mine until our tongues met and the kiss became much deeper in a fraction of a second.
We had never kissed like this before– only when we were in a session. So there were probably things that would change. But they would probably be changes that no one would have any complaints about.
Slowly I pulled her closer until we sat together on the terrace floor, lost in each other and busy making the unspoken apology clear.
I let my hand slide down her back, the other on her neck to hold her in place. A tiny part of me still feared that Nika would get up and walk away and that I had simply imagined this conversation and everything that went with it– in my desperation to create a level where we could meet and talk.
But Nika didn't disappear, and holding her in my arms didn't turn out to be a hallucination. She stayed there until we got up at some point, because we couldn't spend the rest of the day on the terrace, and Kaia was definitely waiting for an explanation, wasn't she?
"Did my sister know you would be waiting for me here?" I asked abruptly. One look at Nika's face was enough.
Still, a grin spread across her lips. "I told her when we spoke. And also that I wanted to let you sweat it out a bit."
"Do you know how many thoughts I had on the way here?"
"Many?"
"A whole lot."
"But you didn't have to worry about it?"
"I would rather have it if I didn't have to chase you all over the island to talk to you," I muttered.
Nika shrugged. "You were the one who taught me that certain behaviors can sometimes have consequences, and it's best to learn from them."
Nikau
Drama ruled the world. And so did the tabloids, they bent over backward to get a headline and build it up until there wasn't much left of the original story. It was a shame because by the time the journalist had intercepted me at the supermarket to talk about my relationship with Kaden Haoa, I had already chosen the perfect statements. He had asked questions that were more than indiscreet, but I had answered them all truthfully– only to see a picture of us on the front page. Together on the beach, after surfing. But the photographer had come onto the private property of theHonolulu Sun. With this photo, he had probably put together the last missing piece of the puzzle to give his story a glamorous finish. Or one that distorted the core of the story so Kaden was now the evil of O'ahu, seducing innocent women and raising them to be monsters.
I had never laughed as much as I did that morning when I discovered the newspaper on the breakfast table and read the headline. It also made me realize that it didn't matter what you told the press– in the end, they would always make up a story that wasn't the truth, but rather the image they wanted to portray of Kaden. Which was funny because he was right next to me during the interview, making sure every word made sense.
