Page 23 of F*ck You in My Head


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She was testing me. So I would test her as well.

This time she ran faster, but still not fast enough to have a realistic shot at getting away from me. Before Audrey could react, I had an arm around her midsection and lifted her off the ground. We staggered against the wall as she struggled against the grip. Her nails dug into my arm, her head snapped back and her heels tried to catch my shins.

Laughing, I held her tight, bending forward with her. Even when she let her whole body go limp and tried to escape me like that, I held her tight.

"Who would have thought you'd enjoy this?" I muttered to her with a grin on my face.

"Enjoy?" Her hiss made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "If you let go of me, I'd rip your clothes off right now."

But I wouldn't do that. Instead, I picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom.

"Too bad I'm the one with the clothes to rip." Knowing she wouldn't let me stand her up against the wall and tie her down, I bent down and tore off the hem of her dress after pushing her onto my bed.

Under her attentive gaze, I used the scrap of cloth to bind her wrists above her head. "And if you change your mind, let me know right away."

This was important. Not only the information that she could get out of the situation at any time, but also that it was quite simple. Usually she was in control, knew what was going to happen next. Maybe this was the first time that wasn't the case, and no matter how well she handled it, how much she liked it, I knew from experience that you could quickly get to the point where something wasn't right, didn't feel right.

"Show me what you're gonna do to me, Lei."

"Are you going to fight back?" I asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Would you like that?" That sassy way of answering...

"I like it a lot better than to have someone lying in front of me completely still."

"I'm not just anyone." A warning flashed in her eyes.

"Of course not," I replied, grabbing her foot and pulling her to the edge of the bed. I also reached for the knife, bringing it to light and letting her see. Tentatively, I let the blade slide over her bare sole.

"If I fight..."

"Could you get hurt? Yes. But wounds heal." And scars last forever, which meant she would carry a memory of me under her skin forever. The thought alone was enough to make me take a deep breath.

"The garter stays whole."

"Why?" She'd let me destroy everything, but not this little piece of fabric? Audrey pressed her foot against my hand. Against the knife. "Because you're going to pull it off with your teeth."

I didn't take orders any more than she did, but the second she said it, I knew I would without hesitation.

I wrapped my other hand around her ankle, pressed the foot against my chest, and ran the knife along her lower leg. Her muscles twitched as she watched me, breathing shallowly, a mixture of fear and curiosity on her face. It was hard for me to hide the fact that I was excited by the sight. I liked it, liked to see her in her own personal world, but I liked even more to confront her with this new experience and make her break out of her comfort zone to experience something she had previously forbidden herself. Or not known, because what was in front of her was not vanilla.

Finally, I grabbed the tulle and ripped it in two with a strong yank, all the way to the top, where it merged with the more solid top. I did the same with the underskirt, which was made of ivory macramé lace. In an instant, both pieces of fabric slid to the floor, leaving her wearing only the top of the dress– and the garter, which wrapped seductively around her thigh, drawing my gaze.

Details appealed to me, but it wasn't usually this kind of detail that demanded my attention.

Was it her insistence on it or was it something else?

I ignored it for the moment and leaned over her instead. The tip of the knife danced across her palms before moving down her arm. I reached the small hollow between her breasts. The blade scraped over the fabric, sounding like music to my ears.

Her breathing quickened as I pierced the fabric, but without hurting her stomach underneath. These knife games were rarely about actually hurting someone. It was the thought. The image that formed in her mind. The fear and adrenaline that mixed together. The excitement that played in the combination. And when the blade broke through her skin in one spot, it was like a release. A small climax that she hadn't expected. A brief pain that flared and then faded into the background as there were more important elements that demanded most of her attention.

Audrey licked her lips. Slowly and lasciviously. As if what I had just given her wasn't nearly enough.

How fortunate that this was only the beginning of what I planned to do to her. A ripping sound filled the air as the knife slid further and further through the firm fabric until the cut between her breasts reached down to her navel. Not much more and the top of her dress would fall away from her like a cocoon. And out of it would emerge a butterfly. Maybe the wings were still stuck together at first and needed some time to unfold and let Audrey fly, but in the end I didn't fool myself. The sudden separation was a liberating blow for her, no matter how painful it felt right now and how irritated she reacted to it. She would realize it eventually. And until then it was enough for me to be aware of it.

I leaned back to examine my work. The tulle was still wrapped around her legs, but they were loose and slightly open underneath me, so I had the best view of her core, which had been covered by white lingerie earlier. This was pure exaggeration, even for Audrey, when I thought about what she did to herself in her livestreams.

Audrey was no saint. Never had been. And never would be, no matter how much she pretended to be.

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