AllFreeNovel
Share Us
No matter how much I sort of wish he would.
* * *
It’sthe thunder that wakes me up. That, and the tiny but fierce wail that fills the air.
I scramble out of bed and rush to the next room, where poor Lilly is crying hard enough to break my heart. “It’s all right, baby.” I pick her up and rest her against my shoulder, where she whimpers and squirms at another clap of thunder paired with a bright flash of lightning.
That’s not what makes me jump, though. It’s Nathan’s sudden, wide-eyed appearance in the doorway. “Oh. You already have her.” He runs a hand through his messy hair before chuckling.
I’m a little too busy staring at his naked chest and torso to answer right away. His plaid pajama pants rest low on his hips, and a hint of dark hair peeks out from over the top of the waistband. He’s not chiseled, the way men are supposed to be to make you drool over them. I don’t care about that. He looks pretty good to me right now, all lit up by the lightning and still a little breathless after rushing out of bed. Because he’s a good dad, and he loves his little girl. I can’t think of anything more attractive than that.
A clap of thunder shakes the house, and even I jump. “It’s okay.” I’m not sure if he’s talking to me or the baby as he approaches, then runs a tender hand over the back of Lilly’s head. “It’s all right. It’s just angels bowling.”
“That’s what my grandma used to say.”
“Because it’s true, obviously.” We share a quick smile before a blinding flash of lightning signals another strong rumble coming up.
“Do storms scare you?” He’s not teasing or making fun or anything like that. He seems genuinely concerned, and all I can do is gently bounce Lilly and try to not stare too much at his chest and his arms. He smells dangerously good, too.
“I don’t love them.”
“Come with me.” He takes Lilly, and she curls up against his chest. Is it weird to envy a baby? I follow him to his room and notice only half of the king-size bed has been slept in. That strikes me as sad. I’m sure he never imagined life turning out like this.
When another crack of thunder echoes in the air, I jump and wrap my arms around myself. “Here,” he offers. “Why don’t you sit down with us? Everything’s fine.”
“I sort of feel bad,” I whisper while gently perching next to them since I don’t want to upset Lilly anymore.
“Bad about what?”
“You’re not supposed to have to get up with her. That’s my job.”
“I’m still going to be her dad.” He grins faintly. “But if it makes you feel better, you can hold her.”
There’s something really special and intimate about this. Being together in his room while the storm rages like crazy outside. Here, it’s just the three of us, and when Nathan pulls back the blankets on the other side of the bed, it feels natural to settle in with Lilly between us. The fact is, I don’t want to be alone. I’ve never liked thunderstorms, and this one is pretty extreme.
“I’m sure this seems unusual,” Nathan murmurs as he strokes Lilly’s incredibly soft cheek with a loving touch. “I hope you don’t mind. This is the first time I’ve ever been in a situation like this, with a nanny and everything. I don’t know what’s right and what isn’t.”
“It’s the first time for both of us. But I don’t mind this.” No, in fact, I like it. Maybe too much. It feels right, somehow. It would be too easy to imagine Lilly as our baby. I don’t know what it is about him. I just feel comfortable, like we know each other.
“Can I ask you something?” he whispers, looking from Lilly to me. I nod. “Is that really all you had? Just those three suitcases?”
I’m not exactly proud of the situation I ended up in, so it’s not easy to fess up. But he’s trusting me, right? I guess I can trust him with the simple truth. “I lost a lot of what I had. I was living with my boyfriend.” I notice the way his brows draw together. “He cheated on me. I don’t know who the other woman was, but I do know he took all the money out of my savings and even sold some of my furniture on Marketplace. He said it was partly his, too, even though I bought it.”
“You’re kidding. What kind of dick does that?”
“I guess the kind of dick I’m drawn to. So I packed up everything I could fit in my suitcases, which was pretty much just my clothes, toiletries, and stuff, and I was sleeping on my friend’s couch.”
“Oh. I see. No wonder it didn’t seem too complicated to get you here.”
“Pretty much.” And now that he knows that about me, I have a little more confidence when I clear my throat before asking, “Where is Lilly’s mother? You never mentioned her.”
He blows out a heavy sigh, and at first, I figure he’s not going to answer. When he does start speaking, he takes his time. “She is… out there somewhere. She’s not interested in being a mother or a wife, I guess. She made her escape not long after Lilly was born.”
It’s unfathomable. “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s her loss, isn’t it? I mean…” Pure love washes over his face as he looks at his daughter. “She’s missing this. I can’t imagine anything she could do right now that would be better than this.”
As all three of us slowly fall asleep while the storm rages, I can’t help but agree.
