AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Bennett couldn’t help but think of his dad. What had triggered Chip’s abandonment of his faith? Honestly, Bennett had never been all that concerned with that question. The one that possessed more of his mind—and his emotion—was how his dad could abandonhim. It took him nearing thirty years old before he could take a wider view, understanding that Bennett Crofton wasn’t the central character of the world’s stage. Not even, really, of his dad’s story.
Humility. That was what had to happen. Nothing like God showing a man exactly how quickly He can take everything—including his memory—to bring him to his knees. There was an Old Testament story about something similar happening to a king . . .
Bennett tucked that thought away for later, when he could look it up.
“One of the biggest reasons I walked away from my childhood faith was because I had believed that God wouldn’t let my dad leave us. But then my dad left. Started a whole new life that didn’t have anything to do with my mom and me. I think, looking back, that as mad as I’ve been at my dad all these years, I was livid with God.”
Hunter took that in, not saying a word. For several long moments, there was only the pulse of vulnerability between two men who didn’t often peel off the layers of their hearts for anyone, and the fragility of young faith confronting the harsh reality of a messy, broken world. In the drawn silence there seemed to be an unvoiced question.
Will you still believe . . .
Hunter turned and stepped to a small window overlooking the alley behind the Pantry. “How do you figure this?”
Will you still believe . . . if the life you hope for here isn’t how things go?
A pulse of fear surged at that whisper to his heart, and Bennett crossed his arms over his chest, digging a hard grip into both of his biceps.If it all goes badly, will you trust I’m still good?A lump bulged in his throat. It felt like a loaded question. This time, though, he had this one thing to hold to:God is good. Even when life felt not so good.
He shall wipe away every tear . . .That was in Revelation—the end of the story. Bennett and José had talked about that when Bennett had called his friend seeking prayer and godly advice. Bennett had been so angry with his dad for doing this to the kids, and he’d bit a harsh question about how were Gemma and Nathan ever going to know God when their dad was so lousy?
God is greater than the sin that overwhelms. Our own and that which is committed against us. The physician of our hearts and lover of our souls is more than able to redeem them all. Your life now . . . doesn’t it proclaim it, Bennett?
Every broken heart mended. Every mess made clean. Hearts made new.
Redemption revealed in perfect beauty. Just . . . not yet. Bennett and José and Hunter, they had to live here and now, in thenot yet. But there was such a hope in that promise of full redemption, even if it did feel so very far off.
Bennett relaxed his clenched fingers. “I don’t know all the answers, Hunt. All I know is that I might be the central character in my own narrative, but I’m not in the bigger story. My life—and yours and Janie’s and Hazel’s—it all matters to God. He cares about all the details. But in the mix of our choices, and a world that is wrecked, and God’s greater story at work, sometimes our hearts are going to be broken. Some things aren’t going to make sense. That is life with sin in a fallen world.”
“What then?”
What Satan, the world, and even some people meant for bad, God intended to use for good—another story from the Old Testament. This one, Bennett knew. It was found near the end of Genesis.
The whispered question resonated again.Will you?
“Then we still must choose.” Bennett gulped, then he tipped his head back, casting his eyes upward. “You and I, we have to choose.”As for me . . .“I’ll still believe.” The statement was a promise—one that God had gently requested for quite a while.
And Bennett hadn’t given it.
Oddly, his mind saw the moment he’d told Hazel he wanted to marry her. The expression of fear in her eyes, the withdrawal of her heart he’d felt as keenly as the piney breeze that had stirred his hair, they both still made his heart writhe.
She couldn’t—or wouldn’t—give him the promise.
Oh God . . .
Bennett sagged back against the wall, the full force of Hazel’s doubt about his faithful love landing next to the lead weight of his own lack of faith in God.
The rejection—Hazel of Bennett, Bennett of God—it was the same.
I’m sorry. Please heal this doubt . . .
Thirteen
HazellookedatHunter’stext, wondering why he’d not stopped by earlier in the day to see if she wanted to go to Janie’s Café with him. He’d done so faithfully for over a month. It had stung, as the hours wore on into the afternoon, to realize he’d left her behind.
Again.
Not the same thing.
As these little pricks of irritation had surfaced lately, Hazel had begun naming them for what they were: insecurities. Often, irrational insecurities.
