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I stole a quick glance over my shoulder at Abaddon. It wasn’t clear if his expression was one of mortification or if he needed to go to the bathroom. I decided not to analyze it.
Sucking in a deep breath, I went for it. “I’m an actress by trade. I starred in a show calledCamp Bitefor years.”
“I lovedCamp Bite,” someone cried out.
“Brilliant,” another shouted.
The murmurs of appreciation for the silly show I’d spent my childhood doing gave me more confidence. Probably misguided, but confidence nonetheless.
“I’ve done a number of crappy movies of the week and a few good ones. I’ve been fired from a sitcom for not having a big enough ass, and in my twenties, I tried to fly at an audition for a kid’s TV show. I knocked out a few teeth and have a couple of scars to prove it. It was recorded. It’s probably on the internet if you search it.” My insanity wasn’t bubbling below the surface. It was out and proud. I couldn’t believe what I’d just shared, but it seemed to be going over well. Maybe I wasn’t as bad at improv as I’d thought.
The Demons were now shrieking with laughter. So, what did I do? I kept going.
“I’ve done a few informercials and more national commercials than you could shake a stick at. The only jobs I ever passed on were those for sexually transmitted diseases, anything to do with the vagina and ones where they wanted me to go topless.”
Again, with the riotous cackling.
It felt great. I’d never performed for such a big audience. However, this wasn’t a comedy show. It was not fiction. It was real and this wasn’t working for me. Although, I was still unclear on what the Goddess of the Darkness did on a day-to-day basis, I knew it wasn’t stand-up comedy.
Holding my hands up, I quieted the crowd. If I was going to do the fuck out of it, I needed to be sincere. I couldn’t force the Demons to follow me. Heck, I didn’t want to have to keep looking over my shoulder all the time. If they didn’t want to give me a shot, it was on them.
“Here’s the truth. I’m not sure I want the job. Lilith insists that it’s mine because I’m her daughter. I think she’s a bit insane.”
“All the best ones are,” a busty red headed Demon assured me.
I gave her a smile. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what you expect. But I promise you this. I’ll be fair and compassionate. Murder isn’t my strong point, but if it’s me or the bad guy… or you or the bad guy, I’ll pick you and me, and I’ll kick ass.”
I began to pace back and forth. I thought better when I moved. Speaking from my heart was what my gut told me to do. I refused to check in with my posse. This was my episode, and I was playing it out until the end with no commercial breaks.
“A few weeks ago,” I continued. “I was just a forty-year-old actress trying to make a comeback in Hollywood. Now? I’m a whole lot more. My power’s immense—scared the heck out of me at first. The Grim Reaper did a spell to help me control it. That’s good for all of us especially the land masses on Earth.”
The Demons listened intently, and their eyes followed me back and forth like I was the ball in a tennis match. It felt wrong to have them immobile. Fixing it could be a mistake, but if they wanted to try and take me out, I wished them luck. I was seriously hard to kill.
“I’m going to unfreeze you. If you come at me, it will be the last thing you do.” I slashed my hands through the air and set them free. Crossing my fingers that I hadn’t FUBARed, I kept going. “You have a choice that I will respect no matter what you decide to do. If you want to stay with me, I would be honored. If you don’t… then you’re on your own. I’d suggest you not give your allegiance to the Shitty Whore. My mission is to put the bitch back in her box and leave her there for a good long while. Fair warning, if you side with the skank, you might go down with her. I’m done with her crap, and I’m ending it.”
“You had me at Shitty Whore,” the Demon who asked for clarification earlier called out. She gave me a thumbs up.
A sophisticated gentleman stepped forward. “I’m inclined to pledge my fealty to you, but something feels missing.”
I stared at him. If he wanted me to beg, he’d be waiting a very long time.
A blonde bombshell walked to the mouth of the bridge and looked me up and down. Her face was pinched with distrust. “Prove that you didn’t take the life of our Goddess. I think you’re a lying viper. You came here with an Angel and a Succubus, thinking you’re the bigshot. You’re nothing.” Her tone was harsh, her glare venomous, and her face red with ire.
The Demons collectively gasped, but none made a move to defend me.
Two could play her game. I leveled her with a stare that epitomized the phrase, ‘If looks could kill, she’d be dead.’ After a full minute of silent stare-off she lowered her gaze.
“You,” I snapped, pointing at her. “Name?”
“Zada,” she replied.
Without looking back, I made a request. “Cher, please write that name down. I love lists. Especially naughty and nice lists.”
Zada hissed, but the others chuckled. I’d learned quickly that Demons respected violence and bad behavior. I wasn’t a real violent gal, but I could give an outstanding verbal lashing. Joan Crawford had nothing on me.
“Got it,” Cher said.
I made a decision. It had become increasingly obvious that very little happened in the Immortal world that wasn’t for a reason. I could project visions. If they wanted proof, they would have proof. “Abaddon. Ophelia. Please flank me. I have to close my eyes to do this, and I don’t trust my audience.”
