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His wicked grin lit my panties on fire. I pushed him away so I didn’t pull a Moon and start humping him in public. “Get away from me. I have to concentrate.”
His laugh as he left to check on the progress was music to my ears. My track record with men had always been terrible… until now. All my dreams were going to come true…tonight, naked and in bed. I just had to survive the day.
Moon wandered around practicing her lines. I’d been concerned that the cast would have trouble since we’d only had a ridiculously short amount of time to learn an entire script. My worry had been misplaced. We’d rehearsed for two hours at dawn’s crack at my house before coming to the studio. My people had memories like steel traps. The dialogue was horrendous, but that was the point. I couldn’t wait until Sean saw Moon inaction.His descriptions of her getting jiggy with the furniture were mild compared to her usual humping. My brother was in for a gag-worthy treat while watching his embarrassing masterpiece come to life from afar.
“I’m nervous,” Irma said, coming up behind me. The Demon was shaking like a leaf. “Think I might puke.”
“You’ll be fine,” I told her, casually backing away. “Nerves means you care, but if you’re going to throw up, aim it a Moon during the run. That’ll make Pandora lose it.”
“Will do,” she said as she scurried away to get a final touch-up.
“My liege Bitch Goddess Cecily,” Fifi yelled from the other side of the set. “Would it be okay if I carry grenades? Makes me feel more secure.”
I glanced over at Abaddon. His face was a mask of horror. I widened my eyes at him for some input on the explosive matter, but he just shrugged and shook his head.
It was all on me. The question was one of the strangest I’d fielded. “Umm… I guess,” I told her. “But under no circumstance are you to use them unless we get attacked. Am I clear?”
“Very!” Fifi shouted. She opened her overcoat, and I gasped. The Succubus was packing at least ten grenades, three swords, a few wicked-sharp daggers and a machine gun. “I’m ready for my close-up!”
“Jesus Hymie Christ,” Cher grunted, grabbing the vodka off the prop table and taking a swig. “Forget about the Shitty Whore, that nutjob is going to be the end of all of us.” She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, “Five minutes, mother humpers.”
Corny scurried over. He was wearing underpants—only underpants. “Does this costume work for you?”
“It’s not much of a costume,” I said. “Is that what Sushi gave you to wear?”
“NO,” Sushi shouted. “He has a full costume in the dressing room. The dumbass refuses to put it on.”
Corny blushed and got down on his knees. “The pants were strangling my knobs. I can’t act if my balls can’t breathe. Please, Bitch Goddess Cecily. Let me wear this costume.”
Fifi was armed to the teeth. Irma was probably going to lose her cookies at some point during the show. Did it really matter if Corny was in his tighty-whities?
No. It did not.
“Fine,” I said, giving up. “But if you remove them before the final credits, I’ll tell Fifi she can use her sword to remove all of the non-PG visuals.”
“Harsh,” Corny muttered, putting his hands protectively over his privates.
“Take it or leave it,” I shot back.
“I’ll take it,” he said. “You won’t regret it. My acting will be stellar because my balls are free.”
Abaddon overheard the conversation. “You still think this is a good plan?”
“Actually, no,” I said with a laugh. “But if the Shitty Whore shows up, it’s worth it.”
“The security can double as backup,” he said, all business. “I’ve had the lot cleared. Not one human is present.”
“How did you do that?”
“Gas leak,” he replied.
“Are you serious?”
He winked. “No, I’m Abaddon or Dick, as you used to be so fond of calling me. The gas leak is fiction, but that’s a secret.”
“I’m very good at keeping secrets,” I promised. A loud boom made me jump as I leaned in to kiss the Demon I loved.
The blast of orange glitter was a surprise. The Immortal who showed up? Not so much.
