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“What?”
“Nothing.” She sips her water, holding the glass daintily with both hands.
“You want to say something. I can tell.”
“You two would make such beautiful babies. I’ve always thought that.”
I allow my head to fall back and press the heels of my hands against my temples. “That’s your takeaway from all this? That we’d have cute babies together?”
“Not cute. Beautiful.”
“Mum, I’m not even sure I want children. I don’t know if he does either.” I stuff two fries into my mouth.
“Well, I’m not going to pressure you.”
“Uh, you already are. Don’t you think it’s pretty bad that I’m sleeping with the driver?”
“Not the most scandalous thing I’ve heard in Formula World. Remember that one driver who used to be on our team, what was his name? The man from New Zealand? It was back when you were about twelve.”
I mention a name, curious. I recalled that he was an excellent driver but never good enough to win a championship. “What about him?”
“We had an affair.”
“What?” My voice comes out in a screech, and people at nearby tables pause their eating to look at us.
Mum seems unfazed. “Well, it wasn’t actually an affair. It was during the first separation with your father. Papa had owned the team about seven years at that point, and was spending all of his time on the road. We separated and then I ran into the driver one day at a private airport lounge. One thing led to another, and . . .” She lifts a shoulder into a shrug.
I calculate the years in my mind. I recall being sent off to summer camp that year and my parents being extremely frosty to one another. Then they’d separated but had gotten back together by the time the next summer rolled around. “Does Papa know?”
“Of course he knows.”
I look at her in horror. “You two have the most messed-up relationship, you know that, right?”
Mum opens her eyes wide and blinks. “We love each other very much. But we don’t see eye to eye on some things.”
“Mum, you drive each other crazy. You slept with someone else.”
“So did he, two years later,” she retorts. This I knew about, because my parents had argued over it for years. “But we worked it out in therapy.”
“Oh god, you two. This is part of the reason why I’m so reluctant to get into a relationship with Max. Or anyone. I don’t want to end up in a—” I gesture wildly with a fry in my hand. “A strange situation like yours. I don’t want to be cheated on. I don’t want to cheat.”
“My dear, your father and I have an unconventional relationship. But we adore each other.”
“But you sleep with other people. You keep secrets.”
She frowns. “Not anymore.”
I can’t control the snort that comes out of my mouth. “Whatever.”
“You’re my daughter. He knows that my bond with you comes first. That’s what makes your father so special. He’s not jealous. So don’t knock it. And don’t be afraid of commitment.”
“How can I not when the two of you are out in the word, being weirdos?” I pause. “And, anyway, I’m technically Max’s boss right now. If it got out that we’re together, it would be a huge scandal. Papa would be pissed.”
“It would be a scandal, but I’m not sure he would be upset. Not at you, at least. Or maybe he would, for distracting his star driver. Anyway, your father’s planning on returning in a race or two.”
“Is his doctor aware of this?”
“He is. He says Adrian’s recovering nicely after his surgery and should be cleared to work in a couple of weeks.”
