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It bothered him. He didn’t understand why at first. And then it came to him. It wasn’t her statement that he was the first man she’d slept with in eleven years, although there was a message there he needed to comprehend. No, it was the seemingly casual way she’d said she didn’t know what she was missing that bothered him a hell of a lot. As if any man would have done. As if what they’d just shared hadn’t been as unique for her as it had been for him.
She must have sensed his internal withdrawal, because she turned over, propped herself on his chest and faced him. “Maybe that came out wrong,” she said softly. “I guess it’s been so long I’ve forgotten bedroom protocol.” She laughed beneath her breath, a rueful sound, and her eyes sought his. “I didn’t sleep with you because it’s been eleven years and I was desperate. And I didn’t sleep with you because you’re the sexiest man alive, either. Although you are.”
Her teasing smile coaxed one from him, but then her smile faded. Everything she was feeling was there in her face, and he knew she was telling the truth. “I slept with you for one reason and one reason only,” she told him, unafraid to let him see her vulnerability. “Because you needed me. And I...I need to be needed.”
Her solemn face morphed into tenderness. “Don’t get me wrong. I wanted you. I still do.” Her small, slender hand stroked his resurgent arousal, pushing him to the limit...again. “But I’ve wanted before—not a lot, but a few. And I’ve never had any difficulty saying no to myself and them.” She sighed. “You’re different, Dirk. I don’t know if I can explain it.”
“Try.” His voice was husky. “Please. It matters more than you know.”
“The very first time I saw you, I...I immediately disliked you. Not because of you, but because of me. Because you looked at me and I felt things I hadn’t felt since Sean. And that scared me. I didn’t know how to deal with those emotions, and...yes...desires. So I told myself I didn’t like you, and that was that.”
She laid her cheek against his chest. “Then, when I met you again—so wounded, so vulnerable—my defenses crumbled. And I knew you needed me. Not just to help rescue your children, but to rescue you, too.”
She rubbed her soft cheek against him, and though he wanted to say something...anything...words wouldn’t come. But it seemed she didn’t need words from him. “I’m not looking for promises,” she told him. “I’m not looking for anything from you other than the chance to rescue you from your personal hell.”
A rush of emotion inundated him, and once again he knew she was telling him the truth...if not the whole truth. His arms closed around her like a vise, holding on for dear life as an aching need washed through his body. He pulled her closer so his lips could find hers. Then he kissed her. And kissed her. As if he could substitute that for the words he wanted to say but couldn’t.
Because in that instant he knew what his heart had been trying to tell him from the beginning. What his subconscious had known almost from the start. He loved Mei-li. Not because she was beautiful and sexy and incredibly hot in bed. And not even because she’d brought him back to life and made him laugh again under unbelievably trying circumstances. He loved her because he’d never known anyone as giving as she was. Because she wouldn’t take no for an answer, wouldn’t let him refuse the gift she offered.
Because she loved him.
He didn’t know how he knew...just that he did. And the selflessness in her statement that she wasn’t looking for promises from him? That she just wanted to free him? She meant it. Even if it meant breaking her own heart.
* * *
Mei-li woke in the early-morning hours with an incredible sense of well-being...and the realization that strong male hands were wandering her body. Stroking. Caressing. She closed her eyes again, luxuriating in the delicious little darts of excitement shivering through her body...something she hadn’t felt in years.
“Mmm,” she said finally. “That’s the best part of waking up. Better even than coffee.” She lifted her head and squinted at the electric clock on the nightstand. “What time is it?”
“Early.” Lips closed on one bare nipple, suckling until it beaded. Then released that nipple and moved to give the other the same treatment.
She sighed and let herself enjoy the moment, but retained enough presence of mind to ask, “Did you sleep?” She’d wanted to make sure Dirk slept last night, but somehow she’d fallen asleep first.
