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Grinning, Dornan stuck two fingers into his mouth, wetting them as he watched me fuck myself. He took hold of my wrist with one hand, pulling my own fingers away from myself, his own fingers braced to enter me.
‘Hey.’
He stopped, his fingers millimetres from my entrance. He looked dazed, as if the lust inside him was consuming him like a virus in his blood.
I took his wrists and guided his hands to my ankles. He wrapped his fingers around my flesh and squeezed.
‘Keep them there,’ I said, gazing into his dark eyes, shocked at how complicit he was being. ‘Don’t interrupt me, or I’ll never do this again.’
He squeezed my ankles in response, breathing heavily.
‘You’re so wet,’ he murmured. ‘I want to be inside you.’
He licked his lips as he stared at my slick pussy, and I could tell this was killing him. He was dying to press me into the couch and fuck me into oblivion.
Wasn’t going to happen.
I continued to massage my swollen bud with my fingers, using my free hand to reach down and tilt his chin, forcing him to meet my gaze.
‘Look at me,’ I breathed. ‘I have some things I want to say to you.’
He didn’t look away. I was impressed by his restraint. I took a deep breath, preparing to relive the horrors of the recent past.
‘You put life inside me,’ I whispered, continuing to rub myself. I squirmed under my own touch, so close to coming. He nodded, slow-blinking.
‘You made me feel the worst pain imaginable,’ I breathed. I felt my words leak out of me, a confession of sorts, and settle upon him. They entered him, soaking into his soul. He wasn’t trying to make me stop talking. He was hanging on my every word, my every hitched gasp, my every touch as I brought myself to the brink of orgasm in front of him.
‘You put life inside me,’ I said, lifting my hips slightly as I slowed my fingers. If I didn’t settle down, I was going to come before he’d paid his penance at all. ‘You put life inside of me, and you turned it into death.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispered, his expression so fucking anguished, so fucking bereft, that it took everything inside myself not to stop and pull him onto me, into me, to sate his sadness and his regret with my body, the same dance we had danced for a decade.
‘What do you want?’ I breathed, writhing as I continued to slowly finger-fuck myself. ‘You want to fuck me? You want to come inside me?’
He nodded, his eyes hooded with lust as he stared, mesmerised, at what I was doing to myself. He took one hand away from my ankle and used it to pull his dick out of his pants, squeezing it until his knuckles turned red.
‘Too bad,’ I whispered, withdrawing my fingers from my pussy and pressing them into his mouth. He sucked them untilit hurt, getting every single drop of me from my skin. ‘You want to fuck me? Youearnit.’
He was panting, hard, on his knees in front of me, and I saw the way he kept glancing at my bare pussy as he stroked his cock in his fist.
‘You taste so fucking good,’ he murmured around my fingers. ‘So fucking good.’
I stopped abruptly, and Dornan’s eyes widened, as if I’d broken the spell.Bullshit, I thought. I slid my hand into his short hair and pulled, bringing his face right up to mine.
But I didn’t kiss him.
‘Make me come with your tongue,’ I demanded. ‘Onlyyour tongue. You want me to forgive you? You’d better start by making me feel good.’
My voice was suddenly thick with emotion. Why? Why now?
Maybe because, after ten years, I was finally starting to take some goddamn responsibility for my own fate. In the beginning I’d needed Dornan’s brutality, I’d needed his domination, but now I needed his submission, his reparation. I needed his desire to soothe me, to beg my forgiveness.
With my hand in his hair, I pushed his head down between my thighs.
His eyes gleamed up at me, full of lust, inexplicably calm. It was as if, by taking charge of the dynamic we shared, he was momentarily relieved.
‘I might be yours on paper, but this pussy belongs to me now, you understand?’
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
