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‘Jason said he knew you before,’ she said. ‘That you sent them money. Is that why we never have any money?’
John looked around the cramped living room, acutely aware of how well Caroline could hear things, even when she was high. ‘Where’s your mother?’
Juliette shrugged. John looked around again, feeling deeply unsettled. ‘We can talk about this later,’ he said, taking a twenty out of his beat-up wallet and passing it to Juliette. ‘Order pizza if you get hungry. And don’t tell anyone about what you and Jason discussed, okay?’ He lowered his voice to a barely audible level. ‘If your mother hears talk about sending money off, she will lose her goddamn mind. Understand?’
She nodded.
‘Don’t go to his house,’ John added. They both knew who he was referring to.
Juliette frowned. ‘Don’t tell me I can’t see him, Dad,’ she said. ‘If I don’t go see him, he’s all alone.’
He could hardly argue with that. Instead, he kissed the top of her head before shrugging into his leather jacket. The thing seemed to get heavier with time, and it was true, the burden of who he was and who he had to be was a weight he bore alone, a weight he couldn’t bear to hold for another moment but which stayed with him, unrelenting, pressing down on his shoulders with every step he took. He glimpsed himself in the hallway mirror on his way out. He looked worn out, used up. He looked like somebody who should’ve gotten out of this game a long time ago.
Before he could go anywhere, though, he got the phone call from Viper. Club business in San Diego. Dornan had demanded John’s presence immediately. And Caroline’s. AndJuliette’s.
Not just club business, though. A celebration. Seemed the woman he would have laid down his life for, the woman he loved more than anything, had been unreachable for two days because she was busy marrying Dornan.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
MARIANA
Dornan’s father lived on a compound that belonged in a Hollywood movie. It was ridiculous: a massive parcel of land, the main part of which was surrounded by a six-foot solid brick fence. A fence topped with razor wire and broken glass. Basically, unless Emilio wanted you to enter or leave, you were fucked.
Which was why it seemed such an odd place to hold a party. Yeah, you could jazz the place up, get out some tables and break out the crystal wine glasses, but at the end of the day the place resembled a prison more than the palatial homestead it was obviously trying to convey. Perhaps I was just biased; I’d started my days as a captive in this very place, locked underground in a tiny cell, stripped and humiliated and prepared for an auction where Emilio had planned to sell me as a slave.
Dornan had been the only reason I hadn’t ended up living in a dog cage at the end of some psychopath’s bed, naked and wearing a chain around my neck. Maybe. Probably.
But now I was one of thefamilia, welcomed with open arms. It was surreal, like a nightmare that you can’t quite wake up from but that you know is about to give you a heart attack if you stay in it for a moment longer.
After Dornan had finally woken from his drugged slumber around noon, we left Vegas. We’d stopped off in LA briefly on our way back, for showers, extra clothes and Dornan’s motorcycle. I’d voted to stay in the limo, but Dornan rejected that. He hadn’t told me anything about where we’d be going on the motorcycle, other than that we were celebrating our quickie nuptials with his family. Something I was just thrilled about. He also hadn’t seemed suspicious about the way he’d passed out for several hours after drinking the drugged coffee Lindsay had sent up to our hotel room, which was a small mercy.
At Emilio’s compound, four hours later, I had to fight to keep my jaw off the pavement as I surveyed no less than fifty Harley-Davidson motorcycles parked up inside the compound, flanking the long driveway that culminated in a large circle in front of the main house. There were dozens of cars too. I spied John’s, and wondered where he was. How he’d been told about what had happened in Vegas, and by who.
If he thought I’d betrayed him.
A deep sorrow spread through me. My finger was still throbbing. How had it come to this? Marrying a man by force, letting him flaunt our union in front of everyone he knew? In front of the man I actually loved? Lying to everyone, conducting secret meetings with the FBI after allowing them to drug said husband . . . Things were spiralling completely out of control.
And in the middle of the raging storm was the image of my son. He was waiting for me. He was safe, but for how long?
I pushed him out of my mind as Dornan pulled me from his motorcycle, placed his hand into the small of my back and propelled me along the path that led to the front door of Emilio’s mansion. It wouldn’t do me any good, thinking about Luis when I was about to enter the lion’s den. I needed strength, not weakness.
I needed cunning, not despair.
‘Are you ready?’ Dornan asked me, and I plastered on my fake smile. I let the mask fall into place and steeled myself for the biggest act of my life. The lie.I love you. When really, I wanted to burn this place to the ground with Dornan and his father inside. Lindsay’s words played on repeat in my head, a soothing chant, a reassurance that this was all going to be blown upsoon.
‘I’m ready,’ I murmured, leaning into him.
He liked that. It seemed to make him proud as he looked me up and down, from my throbbing finger marked with his brand, to my eyes, covered expertly with layers of heavy makeup to hide the marks. The scarf around my neck, to conceal the bruises he’d raged upon my skin. I was beaten and broken, but in that moment, all I felt was impatience. I wasn’t afraid. I was just waiting. The FBI was coming for us. Lindsay Price was going to make sure Emilio and Dornan were punished for their sins.
I just had to get to John and let him know what had transpired before he was punished, too.
***
It was a lavish party, to say the least. Every Gypsy Brother seemed to be in attendance, as well as at least half of thechildren fathered by the club members. I caught John’s eye as Dornan and I walked into the room to applause and cheers, but he looked away. It didn’t matter; what could I communicate to him in a crowd of Gypsy Brothers and cartel members who would murder us if they knew the truth? I had to find a way to get to him. But I had to be patient. Get Dornan hammered, break away and hope John came looking for me. I knew he’d be dying to get me alone, if only to demand an explanation as to why the fuck Dornan and I were now married.
The minutes dragged on. It was almost like an out-of-body experience – I was there, but I wasn’t. Somebody had made a wedding cake, but instead of a bride and groom on top, there were two tacky motorcycle helmets. I tried not to throw up in my mouth when I saw that. I spoke to so many people I’d never even met, and it was strange, going from being the girl hidden away and not talked about, to the girl Dornan suddenly wanted to parade around like a prized head of cattle. He kept worrying, too. Kept taking me aside and touching my neck and asking if I was all right, until I snapped at him and told him to relax and quit reminding me of what he’d done. He largely ignored me after that, which was a blessed relief.
John, I screamed inside my head.I need you. Where are you?I had to warn him before Lindsay and the FBI moved in, and closed off our only hope of getting out of this alive.
