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That fucking camera. That little red light. The footage could be played from any angle, couldn’t it? Those fuckers.Out of one prison and into another.
My mouth has gone dry and I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.
“I’ll see you tomorrow for your hearing.” There’s a snap as she shuts her portfolio and then a steady click of heels across the floor. “Rest up, Rome.”
“Did anyone else come?” I wrench my eyes open to find her halfway to the door, looking back at me. “To visit me?”
The pretty lawyer almost looks sad for me. She shakes her head once. “No. They didn’t.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
AVERY
There’s nothing to do but drift.
In and out. Away and back. I’m always coming back to the same place—this hospital bed. Nathan brings in a plush blanket, salvaged from somewhere in the corner of my closet, and puts it over the foot of the bed. He gives me a decisive nod. “Better,” he says.
It’s not better.
The only way it could be better is if Rome was next to me. If they’d roll a bed right up next to mine and let me see him whenever I wanted. That’s not going to happen, because everyone here thinks he’s a murderer. A rapist. Every terrible thing they could imagine. And nobody fucking believes me when I tell them he’s not. That he’s innocent in all of this. Or at least he was innocent down there. I can’t speak for the rest of his life. I wouldn’t know, because I took myself neatly out of it after that trial finished, and he went to prison.
I told Will I was fine, but the hours wear on, making cracks in my resolve, allowing the pain to seep back in. Even a small dose of opiate painkillers could fuck me up, so those are out of the question. My wrist throbs. My belly burns. I’m skewered from the inside out. The doctors do their best to manage it without opiates, jabbing me with local anesthetic on the worst of my painful spots. The silver lining is that the rape kit is over, and I don’t have to do that again.
A soft knock at the door pulls me out of a half-doze. It’s hard to fall asleep without meds, but it’s hard to stay awake, too. Who the hell would want to confront all this pain head-on? I don’t. But I have to wait for the evening to get the next round of medications pumped through my IV. Then I can float blissfully off for a few hours and momentarily forget that all this happened.
Next thing I know someone’s blocking out the afternoon light from the window. Must not have woken up fast enough. The light catches in his light-brown hair and my heart catches. I don’t know who I was before all this. I can remember feeling that hot, passionate love for Will, but now...I can’t access it, can’t hold it in my hands like a real thing. Now, he’s like a fond memory of something that once was, something long ago that’s been wrapped in paper and carefully placed in a box on a high shelf.
He’s still a welcome sight, though.
“Hey.”
“I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Will looks sheepish and keeps glancing at the door. The cops don’t want him in here, Elliot especially. I don’t get it. They won’t take my word about anything—not Rome, not Will, nobody. My pulse kicks up from the anger and it immediately shows on the monitor next to my bed.Keep it under control, Avery. Don’t lose your shit now.
“You didn’t.” I shift on the bed, trying to get myself into a semblance of a comfortable position. “Just resting my eyes.”
“That cop must be getting a fresh coffee or something. It’s easier to get in here when I don’t have to get interrogated at the door.”
“Is Nathan out there? My uncle?” It’s strange that nobody is in Will’s way. It’s as frustrating for him as it is for me. My aunt and uncle have been here constantly, making trips down the hall from the waiting room. Nathan is in and out. And none of them will tell me what I need to know.
“Nobody’s out there.” Will shrugs. He checks one more time, then drops into the chair closest to the bed. “Listen, Aves, I brought you something.”
“You know I can’t have drugs,” I scold, and he cracks a smile that’s gone before I can blink.
“Damn, there goes that idea,” he jokes. He leans back a little, a casual movement, and slips something out of his pocket. The hard corner of it presses against my leg under the sheets. It hurts to move my arm and put my hand out to meet it, but it’s worth it.
It’s a phone. More than that,it’s a lifeline to the outside world. For a moment, I’m dizzy on the first taste of freedom I’ve tasted in God knows how long.
“Thank you. Thank you so much, Will.”
He takes my hand in his and moves it out onto the blanket, then rubs the pad of his thumb over my knuckles. And that’s when I remember. That’s when my heart bursts with the love that I have for Will. How can you love two people at the same time? I don’t understand, and yet, if I’m honest with myself, I’ve always loved another man for as long as I’ve loved Will. I never stopped loving Rome, not in all the years he was in prison, not in all the years I hid behind my family and my safe boyfriend and my scripted Capulet fate.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper to him.
He gives me a courtesy laugh. “They’re like buzzards, Aves. Circling. Waiting for me to...I don’t know. Admit that I’m behind all of this.” Anger crackles through his eyes like lightning. “I’m trying to find out as much as I can for you. And for me, let’s be honest.”
“This is good. This is enough.” With a phone, I can finally have access to the outside world. It makes no sense to me that my own family would want to cut me off, but they have. And now that’s over. I’ve got the tiniest shred of power back over my own life.
“Everything all right in here?” That booming voice makes me want to vomit again.
