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I threw the clothing on the bed and pointed at it. “This is what we’ll be wearing to Club K, am I clear?”
He blinked his big hazel eyes at me and nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
I stared at him for a long moment, then sighed, falling to sit on the bed beside him. His pliancy was addicting, and I was already hooked on it—on him—and since the... event with his heart, part of me had softened. I couldn’t quite explain the emotions. I’d nearly lost him, and while we were far from anyI love yous, I’d grown used to him in my home. The fear of losing him was, quite bluntly, absolutely terrifying.
I’d begun to wonder if I’d always had a thing for him. What I’d thought of as casual interest could’ve been more.
Wade tilted his head, mouth parted slightly, waiting for whatever I was about to do.
I swallowed my pride. “What I did and how I went about it was stupid.”
I cleared my throat and shifted awkwardly. I didn’t do deep discussions, and I certainly didn’t tell someone about my past and the feelings that came with it. Apologizing was also not in my repertoire of positive attributes. I hated it with a passion because I hated being wrong.
“I shouldn’t have hired someone to get information on you and your family.” I gritted my teeth, ignoring the desire to stop this conversation and go back to being the distant Dom. “And I’m sorry.”
Finally, after what felt like too long, he smiled. “You could’ve asked me. I would’ve told you anything you wanted to know.”
“I’m aware,” I drawled, shaking my head. “But that isn’t how I usually work. I’m not a fan of getting close to someone.”
“Lies. You’re the warmest person I’ve ever met,” he bit back immediately, his grin growing to show he was being sarcastic. This was new, like the Wade I remembered before Xadrian got his hands on him.
I snorted out a laugh. “I have been accused of being a cold son of a bitch many times.”
Wade’s grin turned feral and he cackled.
I glared at him. “Hey, have some respect. I’m still your Dom.”
He held up his palms toward me and flashed me his teeth. “Sorry, Sir.”
I shook my head and rolled my shoulders. I thought about what I could tell him to make this all better—but nothing could. Not really. I’d broken his trust by doing what I’d done, even if he didn’t seem worried about it anymore. “It’s not an excuse, but I don’t like growing attached to people. When I was younger, it was a lot easier for me.”
He pressed his mouth together and clasped his hands, clearly listening intently.
“I used to get too involved with people too fast. I think it came from only having my father, who never got over my mother dying. I craved attention.” Now all I could think about is how ashamed he would be at me for treating the men I’ddatedso badly. He wouldn’t have cared about the Dom part, but he would never have wanted me to be so cold to a partner. “I lost my mom to an aneurysm when I was a kid. It was fast and brutal, and we never expected it.”
Wade winced, but he kept his gaze firmly on me. He reached out to grab my hand, and I allowed it, squeezing my fingers against his.
“My dad was heartbroken. She was his soulmate. He spent my entire life living like a ghost without her. He tried to be here for me, and he was, but when hewasn’t, he always stared off into space, and I knew he was thinking about her. About how much he missed her. Then it was his turn. It happened about four years ago. Cancer. He went quicker than any of the doctors expected. One minute they found spots on his liver, the next he deteriorated, and they put him in palliative care. I lost him a week later.”
Tears bit my eyes, worse than stinging bees, but I tried hard to keep them at bay. Fuck, I hadn’t cried since my dad gave me one final smile before falling into the blissful, drugged sleep of death. I clenched my jaw harder. “I lost myself after his death. I fell into a depression so deep that I didn’t think there was any way of getting out of it. They were my parents. You expect them to go before you, but it doesn’t make it any easier. They were both still young. Mom’s death hurt, but Dad’s.... Fuck. He worked hard to raise me and take care of me after Mom died, and when I finally made enough money to give back, he didn’t live long enough to enjoy it.”
Wade let out a breath and leaned his head on my shoulder, and while it was a small act, it was a lot more comforting than I’d expected it to be. A wave of warmth rushed through me.
“All the money in the world can’t buy health,” he said.
“It can help a lot. Especially when you live in this country.” I shook my head. “Anyway, my buddy, Massimo, brought me out of my depression. I wouldn’t admit it to him, but that asshole saved my life.” I chuckled. “He likes to tell me that whenever he can, though, because he knows he did. He’s a confident son of a bitch, but I guess if I could read people as well as he does, I would be, too.”
“Sounds like a fun guy,” Wade said.
I snorted. “You’ll meet him tonight. He’s a Dom.” I sent him a narrow stare. “Don’t get any ideas, Shoelicker. You’re mine.”
His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip. “Yes, Sir. Yours.”
“Good.” I cupped his face and kissed the corner of his mouth. He mewled exactly how I loved to hear, and then I leaned back and placed my hands on my thighs, fingers bent and nails digging in. “To put it bluntly, I’m an asshole because I don’t want to feel that way again.” I ran my gaze down his body, bare for my feasting eyes, and hunger burned hot inside me. “But I like you, Shoelicker, and I want you to stay mine. If you want to renegotiate the contract, we can do that, too, but I would appreciate it very much if you stayed here.”
“I don’t want to change anything,” he whispered, eyes too wide. “I like it how it is.”
I nodded. “I can’t pretend that I don’t know about your life now, Wade. You’re drowning in debt, for your brother and yourself.”
