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“I know,” he says gently. “And I hope that one day, you will forgive me. And I hope you can understand.”
I nod into the phone and take a deep breath before I ask. “What about Mom, Dad? How did she die? Have you been lying about that to me my entire life as well?”
There’s another long pause, and I can feel the tension climbing as Dad finds the words to speak about an event he probably never speaks about.
“Yes,” he answers quietly.
I close my eyes at his admission, and tears run down my face again.
“Years ago,” Dad continues hesitantly, “I fell in love with a woman named Aria Genovesi. Her cousins were members of the Lanzzare Mafia, whose story I’m sure Nikolai Starukhin has told you. But despite the risk, we couldn’t stay away from each other. I found every excuse to see her, and she did the same. But we knew that if either family discovered our secret, there would be hell to pay.” He sighed, and I can tell he’s trembling. “And that’s exactly what happened, Eden.”
I try to imagine my father—the demanding and unyielding Michael Clark sneaking around with a woman. My mother. It’s almost impossible to picture, but there’s no hiding the pain in his words.
“We knew the risks,” he continues. “But the love between us was too strong. And nothing, not even the hate between Gennady and Emilio, could extinguish it. And for a while, we thought we could do the impossible … until that night.”
“What happened?” I ask.
“We were betrayed, Eden,” he replies. “By Alexander Vorobyov. He found out about us and betrayed us to Gennady and the Bratva. We ran, and they came for us. That was the night your mother died.” He paused to keep his voice from breaking. “They killed her, Eden. She gave you to me and made me promise that I would keep you safe from the world.” He chokes on tears. “And she walked away to face death on her own. For you.”
I want to cry out and scream that it’s not fair. Why should being in love break the rules? But I force myself to remain silent. I collapse into the bed, exhausted from crying. I grab a pillow and clutch it hard against my churning stomach.
His voice steadies. “After that night, I disappeared and changed my name. I cut off all contact with my former life. I started over and pretended that I was someone else. I created a new identity and a new life for us. A secret life where you could grow up safe.”
Tears stream down my cheeks as I realize how much Dad has sacrificed for me. How much he’s given up. How much he loves me. And he still loves my mom. I can’t think of him as Zakhar; I can only think of him as my dad.
“Why didn’t you leave New York?” I ask. “Wouldn’t it have been safer to go far away?”
“Your cousins are here,” he replies stoically. “And they promised to protect us if I needed them. They know the truth of who I am and who you are. But I don’t trust the Lanzzare. Not completely.”
“But you’re working with them now?” I ask.
“Because it’s the only way to get you back.” His voice is firm, without a hint of sorrow. “That’s all that matters to me.Youare all that matters to me.”
The determination in his voice is chilling, and I know that he means every word. Dad made a heart-wrenching sacrifice, and he’s been waiting for years to get even. He is both Zakhar Budanov and Michael Clark. An enemy of the Starukhin Bratva, but still my father.
And I know in that moment, he will stop at nothing until I’m back home with him.
I know whose side I have to choose.
His voice grabs my attention again. “I’ll find a way to rescue you. I’ll put an end to this feud once and for all.”
“What do you mean?” I ask quietly. “How?”
“We’re going to destroy the Starukhin. Every last one of them. It’s the only way.”
Destroy the Starukhin Bratva … A new fear suddenly clutches my throat. His intent is crystal clear.
Nikolai … Larissa … Dominika …
All of them.
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” I say, my voice wobbling. “Or killed.”
“I won’t be,” he promises. “And when I’m through, they’ll get on their knees and beg forgiveness from me.” There’s a heavy silence on the phone. “They haven’t touched you?”
My cheeks flame, and I’m thankful we’re on the phone. “No, Dad.” I lie.
The magnitude of the situation hits me hard. I’m pregnant with Nikolai’s child. A Starukhin lives inside me.
