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“You don’t get a choice anymore,” I warn her. “This is the only way for me to keep you safe.”
“How many times are you going to keep repeating the lie until I believe it?” She laughs coldly and points the phone at me as if it were a weapon.
The challenging look she gives me drives me insane, and I don’t even think she knows it. Her head lowers, but her bold gaze remains on me. Eden wants to hate me, and now it seems that she might.
But I don’t hate her. If anything, I want her more.
I want to break her of her stubborn resistance and reshape her into something new.
I grab hold of her by the arms, and Eden lets out a squeal as I yank her against my body. I pull her in tight, and she turns her face away, refusing to look me in the eye. She does hate me, but it doesn’t bother me. I was born to hate, but I’ll make her need me. I want the challenge, and I’ll never let her go.
“I said I would protect you,” I whisper so close to her ear that my breath moves her hair. “And I will, whether you want me to or not.”
“But who are you protecting me from?” she whispers back.
And I have no good answer.
59
EDEN
Ihatehim.I have to if I want to survive. I don’t dare look at Nikolai or I’ll weaken. If I do, I’ll try to find something decent in him worth hanging on to. My mind will spin his bad behavior into something good. I’ll argue his savage behavior is evidence that he really does love me. I can’t do that. I have to keep my head together and ignore my own fickle feelings.Fucking baby hormones.
Nikolai lets me go and I rub my wrist, though it doesn’t hurt. Maybe it’s childish, but I want to rub the feeling of him off me. I toss the phone onto the desk, ashamed when I stare at the desktop, and instantly, I remember what we did there as if seeing it all again.
I’m still reeling from everything that happened. The gunshot and then my dad’s voice.
“Ippolit is dead, and I’m coming for you.”
The relief when I heard his voice was immense, but it quickly turned to dread. As long as I’m captive, my dad will retaliateagainst Nikolai and the Starukhin Bratva. And I know there’s only one way it can end.
I stand awkwardly, unsure of what to do. I want to confront Nikolai, but I’m afraid of provoking his temper. “Why did you come get me yourself?” I ask. “Why not send one of your goons?”
Nikolai’s jaw tightens. “Because I needed to make sure that you were safe. I needed to see it with my own eyes.”
“You were concerned for my well-being?” I ask dubiously. “Bullshit.”
His eyes flash with annoyance. “Despite what you may think, Eden, I don’t actually want to see you harmed.”
I’m taken aback by this admission. I thought he didn’t care at all anymore. A little battered and bruised was acceptable as long as I remained in one piece.
Nikolai heads straight for the liquor cart. He pours himself a generous glass of vodka and downs it. He rubs his hand over his face and suddenly looks exhausted. The stress of everything shows in his eyes. A twinge of sympathy races through me before I harden myself again.
“My father is alive.” I look hard into his eyes. “I won’t call him on that phone. You’ll have to find another way to track him down.”
Nikolai’s cool gaze slices into me and knots my gut. Does he regret losing this chance to kill my dad? And when will Dad, I mean … Zakhar Budanov … try again? I’m split between two men at war with each other. I don’t know who to trust or what’s right anymore.
Nikolai’s voice is low, almost melodic, but his words give me a jolt. “I’ve spoken to your father, Eden.”
“When?” My eyes widen. “No, you couldn’t have.”
“Not directly,” he replies arrogantly. “But he knows what will happen to you if he betrays the Bratva again.”
I back away from Nikolai, and his threat renews my determination. He ordered the murder of my dad and failed. But all that means is he’ll try again.
“I won’t help you,” I blurt out.
“I don’t need you to help me.” Nikolai picks up the phone and hands it to me. “I need you safe. Keep it on at all times, Eden.”
