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“No.” Nikolai casually picks up a decanter and pours two shots of vodka. “It’s because I found what I wanted that I can’t ever let you go, Eden.”
“Why?” I swallow hard. “You don’t need me anymore.”
Nikolai smiles that smile that melts my knees as he hands me one of the shot glasses. My insides are shaking, and I don’t want to cry. Not in front of him. I glare at him as I toss the sharp liquor down my throat. It makes me gasp, and my eyes tear slightly, but it’s okay. It’s from the alcohol, not him.
Nikolai places his empty glass on the coffee table and sinks onto the couch. He sits there, watching me. His face is neutral, and his eyes are unreadable. His voice is soft, and his words are gentle. He’s about to play me.
“I still need you.”
That lie chills my heart.
“There’s nothing I can do for you anymore,” I whisper, place the glass beside his, and stand up. “Nothing. I won’t marry you.”
Nikolai rises to his feet, towering over me. His gaze is piercing, and his expression is hard. “That’s not an option for you. Not now. Not anymore.”
I shake my head and look away. I can’t stand to look at his face anymore.
Nikolai’s voice is gentle. “We’re tangled up in this betrayal together. You are the only thing keeping this Bratva from falling apart to your father’s betrayal.”
My eyes meet his. “You’re just using me …” I whisper. “You’ve never cared about me …”
I don’t want to believe he’s this cold. Not to me. Not after last night. It feels like there’s a wall building between us, and I can’t seem to break through it. I can’t reach him.
Nikolai reaches out and cups my face. “No, Eden,” he murmurs. “It’s because I care about you that I can’t let you go.”
“Liar,” I say, but the words are empty. I feel lightheaded.
Nikolai steps closer and tilts my head back with his hand. “I wish I was, Eden.”
“Please don’t make me stay here.” I take a shuddering breath and let it out slowly. I can’t fight my feelings anymore and lean into his touch. I stare into his eyes suddenly, an idea bursting into my head. “You mentioned that campsite where you worked out differences. Why can’t you work out this one there with Dad?”
Nikolai closes his eyes. When he opens them, his gaze is bitter. “Because your father betrayed the Bratva. Once in the past, and now. He’s been helping the Lanzzare Mafia since your arrival.He’s the reason why my people are dying. We are long past the point of talking.”
He doesn’t finish the rest of the statement, but I know what fills the silence.Because of you.
“No,” I whimper. I pull away from Nikolai, backing away until I’m out of reach.
“You have to trust me, Eden.”
Trust seems like an impossible wish right now. How can I trust Nikolai when everything I thought I knew about my life is crumbling around me? My father has become a stranger in my life.
“When will this end?” I ask in a small voice. “Will this end?”
Nikolai grabs me, pulling me against his chest, and we kiss. His lips are demanding, and his tongue sweeps into my mouth. I lean into Nikolai, melting into his arms. My body trembles against his strength—conflict wars in my heart. Nikolai breaks the kiss and presses his forehead against mine.
He closes his eyes and whispers, “It will end, I promise.”
Tears sting my eyes because Nikolai can’t give me what I want. The truth is too ugly and bitter to hear. It’s more than just a broken heart—I’m leaving behind the last fragments of the life I once knew.
I don’t know what’s real anymore.
I pull away from Nikolai. A tear runs down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. “I-I need some time alone,” I say softly.
I need space to process this mess, to come to terms with the fact that my father might be a traitor, and my love for Nikolai might mean nothing to him.
Nikolai nods and moves out of my way. I run up the stairs and shut the door behind me. My legs are weak, and my heart races as I slide down the wall and curl into a ball on the floor. My body trembles as the reality of everything finally sets in.
47
