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I can’t bring a child into this mess of a world. My father betrayed the Starukhin Bratva, and I’m their bait to kill him. My baby will be raised in the same house as a man who is using me for his own gain. A man who’s committed to murdering my dad.
I can’t let that happen.
I won’t.
I wipe my face dry and take a deep breath. I need to get out of here. I have to escape.
“Are you all right,koshka?” Dominika’s voice quickly ends my thoughts. My gaze goes to the door, and she looks at me as if she knows what I’m thinking. She waits in the doorway, holding a stack of towels. I stare at her, frozen with fear.
I confided in her about the symptoms that have bothered me for the past week. Things she convinced me can’t be dismissed ascoincidence any longer. She says that she’s looking out for me, and it’s time that I put her to the test.
“Did you get it?” I ask quietly.
Dominika places the stack of folded towels on the bathroom counter. She lifts the top one, revealing the pregnancy test. Dominika tries to hand me the box, but I only stare at it, as if I’m afraid that by taking it, it will make my fears come true.
“Here,” she says, extending it toward me. “The directions are simple. If you need me …” I notice the concern on her face and her eyes filled with compassion. “I won’t tell him. Only you can do that.”
I swallow hard and take the box from her. “Thank you,” I whisper, not meeting her eyes. “I’ll be okay.” My breathing is steadier. “I need some privacy.” I lift my gaze to hers. “But you’ll come back and check on me?”
“Of course.” Dominika nods and leaves me to take the test alone.
I slowly open the box and take out the test. My hands tremble as I read the instructions. I follow them carefully, making sure to get enough urine on the strip. As I stare at the tiny stick, I feel like I’m holding my entire future in my hand. A sudden wave of nausea washes over me, and I wonder if it’s just nerves or a sign that I really am pregnant. When it passes, I set the test on the counter and wait for the results.
I pace back and forth in front of the sink, trying to calm my doubting thoughts. The minutes drag by, and I’m scared to look at the test. I don’t want to know. I don’t want this to be happening. As I wait, my mind plays out scenarios. None of them are good. Am I really pregnant? And if so, what will Nikolai do when he finds out? Fear squeezes my heart like a vise.
If he’s willing to usemefor bait, what will he do to my child?
Finally, I can’t take not knowing anymore. I take a deep breath and look at the test, and my heart free falls into my stomach.
Two lines.
Positive.
I’m pregnant.
I sink to the floor, overwhelmed by what this means. I put my head in my hands, and tears spring to my eyes as all sorts of emotions flood into me—dread, uncertainty, and even a small flicker of hope. But all of them circle back to the same thing: what will Nikolai do when he discovers the truth?
A sudden knock on the door snaps me out of my misery. I quickly wipe my tears away and stand up. “Yes?” I try to hide that I’ve been crying.
“Koshka?” Dominika enters the bathroom, but she doesn’t need to ask anymore as I throw myself into her. She hugs me close like the mother I never knew, and I start crying in earnest—shoulder-shaking sobs.
“It’s positive,” I choke out.
“If you need help …” Dominika whispers. “I know someone. No one will ever know.”
It takes me a moment to register what she is suggesting. And as soon as I do, another thought crosses my mind.What will Nikolai do if he finds out you did that?
I pull back and stare at Dominika. “I-I can’t,” I whisper.
“So long as this is your choice,koshka.” She nods and squeezes my hand reassuringly. “It will be okay,” she says softly. “You have me.” She wraps her arms around me and lets me cry until I have nothing left.
I feel lost and alone, and I’m not sure what to do. My whole life has been turned upside down, and now I’m faced with a choice that will change everything. But I can’t let go of the hope that maybe, just maybe, Nikolai will not use my baby the way he used me.
“I …” I wipe my face with my hands. “I want to talk to Larissa.”
“Of course.” Dominika nods. “I will arrange for her to come as soon as possible.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, staring steadily into Dominka’s eyes. There is no malice there, no hidden agenda, and nothing but the concern of a woman who has seen much and knows even more.
