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And her eyes—the way she looks at the camera makes me forget that there are other people on Earth.
“She wasn’t scared to talk to people,” Zhanna continues. “She had a genuine interest in everyone she met. She judged everyone based on themselves, not what was whispered behind their backs. Aria spoke to me as if I were a friend to make, not a Bratva wife to sidestep. She knew how to make you feel like you were the center of the world while she was the center of ours.”
Zhanna sits quietly, and I look away as she wipes a tear from her cheek.
“Thank you for sharing that with me.” I hand back the photo album.
“Of course, dear. Remember, women have power and influence too, but we must use it wisely.”
“I’m still not sure,” I confess. “How can I control the Bratva when I can’t control my own life? I’m told I should accept the Bratva, but they haven’t accepted me. They stare at me as if I’m the enemy because of my mother. She loved my father, and that’s the only mistake she made.”
Zhanna gazes thoughtfully at the photo before responding. “It won’t be an easy path, and your journey will differ from any other woman’s. But you must be willing to fight for your place in our world, just as your mother did.”
“But my mother died.”
“All of us will die,” Zhanna replies. “But while alive, you must learn to use your intelligence and your charm to your advantage. You must be fearless, like your mother.”
“I met Paige Barinov,” I tell her hopefully. “She told me that her husband, Andrei, retired from the Bratva. Is that even a possibility for Nikolai?”
A sad smile appears on Zhanna’s face. “No one leaves the Bratva completely, Eden. Andrei may have stepped away from his position, but he is stillverymuch involved. These ties are forged in blood, and they are difficult to sever. You will never be allowed to forget where you came from.”
I nod, taking in her warning.
“But will I marry Nikolai?” I ask.
“I cannot answer that for you. Only you can.”
“I don’t doubt my love for Nikolai,” I sigh. “But how do you do it? How do you stomach it? The violence. The killing.”
Zhanna doesn’t answer right away. She stands up and walks over to a silver decanter, and when she lifts the lid, her dogs begin to fan their tails.
“You never will,” Zhanna sighs. “But that’s the point.”
The slim greyhounds wait patiently before Zhanna tosses them a treat. The dogs snatch it up greedily and then rest their heads on their paws.
She sits down beside me. “A pakhan’s wife has the power to intervene before things get out of hand.” Zhanna gazes at her dogs. “It’s impossible to change the world from a distance. You can run away and pretend it doesn’t happen, but it will happen whether you are there to see it or not. Do you want Nikolai to change?” She stops me. “Not who he is, but his circumstances?”
“I do.”
“Then you will find a way. Or make one.”
48
NIKOLAI
I returnto the Lanzzare mansion, unsure of the reception I’ll receive. Christian Genovesi looked delighted to get rid of me the last time I was here. A bodyguard opens the door and immediately steps aside to let me in. At least the truce is still intact after all these weeks. Waiting in the hall, I look around the mansion, opulent but impersonal. A show of wealth without any personality. It feels cold and sterile, like a showroom rather than a lived-in home.
The bodyguard shows me into the living room, and I look even closer. The furniture is sleek and modern, with no signs of wear or use. It almost feels more like a luxurious film set than a lived-in space. I keep displays of my personal life hidden, as anyone in my position would. But this is different.
Christian enters the room, increasing the atmosphere of pretentiousness and artificiality.
“Nikolai,” he grasps my hand before sitting across from me. “What brings you back? Is there something else we can help you with?”
“Yes,” I reply simply.
He’s taken off-guard by the bluntness of my response. He meant it as a cheap blow aimed at my pride, but my pride has taken a bruising from better men than him. The Lanzzare respect how I stepped in and saved Mercy, but that was weeks ago. What am I going to do for them this week?
“It’s time I met with your don,” I tell him. “I wish to see Emilio Lanzzare.”
