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Everything I hold dear hangs in a precarious balance.
But there’s no escaping the fact that tonight’s violence taints the sacred night. Tonight is a stark reminder of that. My fingers gripthe windowsill as I watch them carry the body to the backyard. I should feel relief, but all I can think about is how our lives are spiraling out of control and how powerless I am to stop it.
The front door flings open, and Nikolai steps into the house, his gaze searching for me. I run down the stairs to him and throw myself into his arms. I cling to Nikolai as my voice rises with emotion. “I love you.”
His strong arms wrap around me, holding me close. Happiness blooms in my heart like a thousand flowers in spring as our heartbeats sync.
“I love you. I love you! I love you!” I say again and again.
“I love you too,” Nikolai murmurs into my hair, and his low voice sends chills over my skin. His words feel like a lifeline, dragging me back from the edge of hopelessness. And I know that this time, he will never let me go.
Dad watches our embrace with a stoic expression. But when he steps forward, the tension in the room dissipates.
“Nikolai Gennadyevich,” he says. “The mother of your child has missed you.”
“Dad,” I squeal, shooting him a warning stare.
“I see how much she loves you, Nikolai Gennadyevich. And I give you both my blessing.”
I pull away from Nikolai and look at my father in disbelief. “Dad, are you sure … ? What about the oath?”
“Fuck the oath.” His mouth curls in the faintest of smiles. “You deserve happiness. Both of you.”
Nikolai nods, acknowledging what my father has given us. He lets me go and takes a step toward my father. He watches as my father kneels before him and places the very gun that Sorokin gave Dad to kill Nikolai on the floor between them.
“I care for no one but my family,” Dad’s eyes lock on Nikolai’s, “and I shall love none other than them. Do with me what you will for breaking my oath, my pakhan.”
“In that case, Zakhar Sergeyevich Budanov,” Nikolai’s voice resonates with authority, “pick up the gun and rise as the Avtoritet of the Starukhin Bratva once more.”
53
EDEN
The dark roadseems familiar to me, but I’m not sure why I have this feeling of déjà vu. “Where are we going?” I ask my father as his truck navigates through traffic past the dirty piles of snow.
“Back to the inn,” replies Dad. “We’ve been requested to come to a meeting.” Dad’s mouth is tight as he concentrates on the route.
My heart skips a beat, but I keep my warring emotions inside.
“You don’t look happy about it,” I reply softly.
“Sorokin knows how Gunsyn died,” he replies. “Nikolai and I are oath breakers. Sorokin has every right to kill us both. But we’re getting a hearing instead.”
“That’s good, isn’t it?” I ask, confused.
“Yes and no.” Dad sighs loudly as he slows down for the exit. “Eden, you have to accept that things might not end in our favor. If something happens to me, you’re to go live with your uncle Vito. The feud is over, so you’ll both be safe.”
“Nothing bad will happen.” I lower my voice and grip the seat to steady my nerves. “You and Nikolai did what you said you would do for the Bratva. You rescued Mercy, ended a feud, and killed three traitors. What more do they want from us?”
“There will always be something more to demand,” Dad replies bitterly. “I’ll be staying in the cabin with Chuikov’s men. You and Nikolai will have the inn to yourselves.” He glances over at me. “You can say your goodbyes there. If it comes to that.”
We don’t speak as the truck continues down the road. Fear and apprehension produce a weird feeling inside me. The uncertainty of our situation roils in my stomach. I want to see Nikolai, desperately, but what if this truly is the last time? Joy turns to ash in my mouth when the truck stops in front of the inn, and suddenly, I don’t want to get out.
But I do. I cannot hide from consequences forever.
Dad doesn’t say anything as I get out of the truck and walk toward the front door alone.
The wind blows snowdrifts across the path. The evening air is cold, freezing my cheeks, and I pull my coat tighter. In those few steps, I feel incredibly alone as I imagine life without Nikolai or my dad. I push open the door and step inside, scanning the living room for him. The moment I enter, Nikolai rushes toward me and takes me in his arms.
