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“If they offer it,” I reply stiffly.
“They’ll do anything to save Mercy,” she replies.
Her words strike deep because I know Eden is right. Nothing would’ve stopped me from demanding their help if Alexander had taken Eden. I would’ve marched up to their front door and kicked it down, begging and pleading for her life.
But the prospect of asking for their help when I look weak sickens me. My father must be doing backflips in his grave. I know the Lanzzare will demand everything on their own terms if I go to them, even if Vito convinces them I can be useful. An asset instead of a deficit, that’s how I’ll be seen. But what help can I offer anyone when my soldiers are switching sides, and I’m hiding like a coward in Sorokin’s castle?
“I understand how hard this is for you.” Eden dares to step closer and place her hands on my chest. “But it’s either this or we continue to run from safe house to safe house. Nikolai, the baby … Please, swallow your pride, and if an offer is made, accept their help.”
Her touch sends a tremor through me, reminding me of our love and how much I want our child. I close my eyes, feeling the weight of guilt and responsibility lean hard into me. It’s hard to breathe, and I gently take her hands off me.
“Fine,” I relent, swallowing the lump in my throat. “But I won’t roll over for them. We negotiate. I retain equal control. I’m not some beggar with a cap in his hands outstretched for a coin. The Lanzzare will treat me with respect!”
“Of course.” Eden’s eyes sparkle, and I begrudgingly admire her confidence in a hopeless situation. “Together, we will make this work. We’ll get Mercy back.”
But as much as I want to share in her optimism, I can’t shake the feeling of powerlessness that takes root in my heart. Will I losemore than just my control and position in this game of deceit and revenge? My brain hurts as I realize the cost of this power struggle if I lose. I could lose the woman I love.
“Promise me one thing,” I whisper as Eden watches me nervously. “No matter what happens, we won’t let this tear us apart.”
Her fingers brush against my cheek, and I touch them with my lips. “I promise,” Eden whispers, and I seal our vow with a kiss. “No matter what we do, whether for love, family, or revenge, our choices will always bind us.”
Revenge.
Is it still stronger than love?
We sit beside each other on a velvet love seat in the gloom of this opulent guest room. The walls are painted a deep, rich green, making the space seem even darker and claustrophobic. The walls are decorated with costly paintings, but in the low light, their detail is lost. I look at Eden, trying to make out what she’s thinking, but the pale light from the window only illuminates her frown.
“What is it, Nikolai?” she asks quietly.
I release my fists and stare at the ridiculous canopy bed across the room. “I just … don’t like feeling out of control.”
“Neither do I,” she says, touching my hand. “But sometimes, we have to let go to move forward. I know how much it hurts to feel powerless.” Her voice is soothing. “But no man can be all-powerful, Nikolai. Not even you.” Her gaze holds mine as the shadow vanishes from her face. “The greatest strength often comes in moments of tremendous weakness.”
I scoff. “Who taught you that?” I ask, bitterness creeping into my voice.
“Zakhar,” she admits with a sad smile. “He used to tell me that when I complained about my curfews.”
We sit there for a moment with our fingers intertwined. I shared my fear, but I can’t admit the truth. I sacrificed my life for power and revenge and may risk losing it all. But Eden understands, and everything that has happened binds us together. If we survive.
“Let’s get some sleep,” I suggest. “If Vito calls, we’ll have a long night ahead.”
“Okay.” Eden stands and crosses the room to the enormous bed.
I follow her like a magnet, unable to resist the force that draws me closer to her. My feet move on their own, and as we settle beneath the covers, our bodies press together as our lips touch.
I taste her lips, and then my tongue swipes into her mouth as I hold her face in my hands. The kiss helps me to forget the pain and humiliation I’m suffering. She believes in me, even if the others don’t. I end our kiss with a sigh. “You’re right,” I admit, my voice strained with the effort to swallow my pride. “We need their help.”
“Good,” she says. “You’ll ask.” Without warning, a sad smile crosses her face. “Sometimes, I miss the innocent girl I used to be. Kept in the dark.”
“The innocent princess I carried off to my castle,” I tease. “What happened to her?”
Eden pierces me with a gaze. “She met you.”
Avoiding her gaze, I roll onto my back and curse at how much I’ve changed her. But Eden leans in and captures my lips with hers. Her kiss is demanding as she slides her legs over my hips. I feel the heat of her sexy body pressing down on mine, and any remaining regrets vanish in a haze of desire.
“Let me show you who I am now,” she whispers against my bare chest. Her tongue darts out and licks my skin, trailing a wet line over my tattoo as she unbuttons my shirt. “Sometimes it’s fun to be bad,” she purrs. Her skirt is hiked up, and my fly comes down as our bodies move together in a primal dance. Moving recklessly, we’ve learned to take every moment we can. My love makes me forgive her, and my passion makes me want her. My hands reach for her sweetest spots, stroking until she tenses and then screams in release. I roll her over and thrust into her harder and deeper. This is the only time I want to lose control. My release flattens my body against hers, and I stay tight against her, treasuring the feeling of being loved.
There is an unspoken understanding that we have both been changed, perhaps irrevocably, by the families that fight over us.
