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Kan’n was indeed extra grumpy when the screen faded just as he was about to slap his palm on the control panel at the side of the sleeping nook.
We stepped out of the shuttle and were immediately surrounded by everyone. Mo bearhugged me the second my feet hit the ground, then promptly passed me over to his wife.
“You made it!” Kat said, squeezing me. “We were so worried. We watched the whole thing from here.” Her Russian accent became more apparent as she got emotional.
Aanya pushed her way over and catapulted herself at me. Then Terrance and Curtis, and Mary, and Heather. The hunters were happy to see me, too, but they showed it less physically, all except Harb’k, who gave me a hug.
“Lenny! You made it!” I grinned at my co-Tech Wizard, glad to see his smug mug.
Instead of a hug like everyone else, Lenny put me in a headlock and gave me nuggies. How we’d ever thought we could be a couple was beyond me. He was annoying, like the older brother I never had.
“Yep. I had my phone on me, and I used it to reprogram the pod to land near home. I guess yours is back on the mothership? I tried calling it, but nothing.”
I nodded. “Yeah. It’s in the repair bay, inside Pip’s old shell.”
The happy homecoming was cut short when Kan’n shoved Lenny aside, grabbed me, and put me behind him, growling. That had several people immediately on high alert, ready to rescue me from the Loose Cannon. Kan’n had always been vocal about his distrust of humans, and that hadn’t earned him too many friends here. Terrance and Curtis gave Mo looks as if silently asking if they should jump him.
Shit. Things were going to get bad real fast if I didn’t do something.
“Give us a moment, will you?” I pulled Kan’n back inside Pip. “Close the door, Pip, and keep everyone distracted. Say hi to them. I’m sure they’ve missed you too.” I was hoping this would distract him as well and give us some privacy.
“Of course they have!”
I laid into Kan’n immediately. “What the hell, Kan’n? You can’t pretend all fucking morning that nothing happened between us and then get all up in everyone’s faces when they try to eventalkto me, like you own me or something. I’m not playing this game with you.”
I was glad he was no longer thinking of me as the enemy but having him blowing hot and cold like this was only a tiny step up.
I’d always sworn to myself that I’d never stay with anyone because they found me slightly better than the loneliness. If he wasn’t crazy about me, then he wasn’t good enough. No one would pity me like I’d pitied my mom.
“I do not play games,” he growled, folding his arms across his massive chest.
“Thisisthe game. You’re being hot and cold. Acting all possessive one moment, then like you don’t care the next. You don’t get to treat me like a dog with his chew toy, guarding me when you think there’s competition and ditching me right after. If last night was a one-time thing, then stop acting all possessive only when you want to.I’m not yours.” I emphasized the final words.
His shoulders sagged. “I know.”
“Youwantedme to leave you alone, remember? You have a fully functional shuttle now. I won’t bother you anymore. So let’s step out there, and act normal, and pretend the whole blanket fort thing never happened. I’ll go about my life, and you can leave our camp like you wanted to. Okay?”
My question was met with silence. Fine, be that way. I took a deep breath, readying myself for a bunch of questions I didn’t know how to answer, and reached for the door.
Kan’n stopped me, his giant ham-sized hand wrapping around my wrist and pulling it to his chest, which started rumbling the moment my palm touched it. “No. That’s not okay.”
Chapter 20: Kan’n
I didn’t know exactly what I wanted, but I knew that going back to the way things were and leaving the camp, and Sam, wasn’t it. Not anymore. I struggled to find the words to explain to her how I felt. I was torn between protecting myself and giving in to my cravings to touch her, protect her, and possess her in every way, all the time.
Krux! It was too late already. If I lost her now, it would be the end of me.
“I don’t want to leave anymore. And I don’t want us to go back to the way we were before.”
She shook her head and sighed. “That’s just because of what happened between us. It’s called trauma bonding. What happened on the mothership was a stressful situation. We distracted each other from it so we could survive. We needed comfort. That’s all it was. You don’t even like me anyway, remember? You hate me.”
“I do not hate you. I also do not want to go back to the way things were before. I want…” I closed my eyes briefly, then opened them and looked straight at her. “I want you.”
Her gaze softened, and she let me pull her in closer, enveloping her in my arms.
“That’s unexpected,” she murmured against my chest. “But…okay.”
I buried my nose in her hair, inhaling her scent and letting it calm me. After a long moment, she pushed away to look up at me, her gray eyes shining.
