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“I’ll repeat, just to make sure there’s no confusion,” he said pointedly. “The catches still aren’t back up. Eleni will bless the harvest to at least make people think we care. When is Sebastian getting you that tonic, Daphne?”
“He said a few days.” I hated how hoarse my voice sounded, scratchy with the ghost of my sobs. “But that was about a week ago.”
“He’s working on it,” Lukas grumbled, speaking more to Zale than to me. I’d barely seen him in two days. He didn’t come to bed, didn’t come to dinner. Eleni told me she was pretty sure he was sleeping on the ocean floor in beast form.
I could still see the anger in his back, his shoulders. I just didn’t know how to apologize when he wouldn’t let me tell him I loved him.
“We haven’t pressed him, Luke. He might need a reminder.”
His eyes bounced to me, and he dragged his tongue over his teeth. “I already reminded him. He’s working on it. He knows what will happen if he doesn’t.”
My mouth fell open at his gruff tone. “Thank you.”
I had to look away unless I wanted to cry again. This was our first conversation, if you could even call it that, since we’d fought. If this was how it was going to be from now on, I didn’t know if I could handle it.
Zale looked concerned, hesitant to speak but I urged him along with my hand. I’d been doing that a lot over the past few days, making people push past the sheen in my eyes to treat me like normal instead of as drained as I felt.
Only Eleni wouldn’t let me brush her off, walking into my room with a bag of clothing and makeup. Before I could even open my mouth, she said, “I came in here to use your mirror. Don’t even think about trying to kick me out.”
It was an excuse, but I let it slide because I was just so happy to have a friend. I didn’t know if Eleni said something or if Rose was just that perceptive, but an Iris letter appeared on my desk, still glimmering like a rainbow with the power that had sent it through space. She’d requested—demanded—my presence at brunch on Sunday.
“You both will need to arrive together, but then you don’t have to talk,” Zale said, then immediately winced. I tried to give him a sympathetic look. No one was used to a world where Lukas and I weren’t speaking.
“Thank you, Zale,” I said. “We’ll be there.”
I fled the room quickly, keeping my eyes on the floor as I passed Lukas. I would need all my strength to pull myself together, to put on a mask appropriate for dealing with an entire court.
Not to mention the care I would have to take with my makeup. My eyes were bloodshot and the purple marks under my eyes had deepened.
By the time I reappeared in our dining room, I was pretty sure my concealer was hiding the worst of the damage. There was nothing that could hide the lift of my brows, raising in the center the second Lukas rounded the corner.
I gave him a close-lipped smile then turned and quickly walked through our door and out to the hallway. Lukas released some low sound as he caught up to me, his hand hovering an inch off my skin.
Fuck, I just wanted to touch him. But I’d embarrassed myself enough in my plea to get him to forgive me. We walked in tense silence all the way to the formal ballroom, nothing between us but the sound of our breathing.
I kept my hands in front of me, hoping that would be enough to steady me. Right as we got to the doors outside the ballroom and the guards started preparing for our arrival, Lukas wrapped his hand around my upper arm.
I stopped short, having to suck in a breath to stop tears from escaping.
“Daph…”
“Not right now, Luke,” I said, shaking my head. I couldn’t break this silence now. Not when we had to try and quell some of this unrest. I couldn’t do that with a throat tight with tears.
“Daph, just—”
“I can’t do this,” I said, cutting Lukas off. I made myself look up at him, to keep my expression steady and resolute. There was a cyclone in his eyes and if I looked a second longer, I’d be flattened by a gust of wind.
I turned back to the guards and nodded crisply. They got the message, opening the door and announcing our arrival quickly. Lukas and I parted almost immediately, pulled off into different conversations.
Good, I thought. I needed all my concentration to craft the right responses.
I thought I was doing pretty well. “It was so lovely of you to plan this, Lady Athena,” was followed with a kind smile and, “It’s nothing when it’s for this court.”
“Are we expecting a rather lean winter?” was calmly assuaged with, “Sometimes the catches take a second to reach expected returns. We’re keeping a close eye on it.” I hid the panic that question caused under a placating expression.
I felt in control until Lukas’s eyes landed on me through the crowd. There were too many emotions on his face for me to decipher what he was feeling, but I knew he saw right through me.
I dropped his gaze, staring at something—anything—else. Our eyes caught and I severed the connection several more times.
