Page 78 of The Gods Only Know


Font Size:  

“He was with Zale. I didn’t hear their full conversation, but I overheard Lukas saying that he wanted out of our engagement. That the only reason he wasn't leaving was because it would be too messy and piss too many people off. But while he was forced to stay, he'd take what he could get from me.”

Rose’s eyes fluttered closed and she let out a heaving breath. “After you…”

“Yeah,” I croaked. I would never forget the feeling of my hope shattering like glass. How my worst fears had been confirmed—that Lukas didn't actually want me. He only wanted what I could provide him.

The same thing that had happened with everyone else in my life.

Always needed, never wanted.

“Never mind, Lukas is a dumbass.” Rose paused for a second, obviously trying to choose her next response carefully. “Why didn’t you slam that door open and demand answers?”

I smiled down at my lap. Rose and I were different in that regard. Except for her brother, she addressed problems head on, not caring about careful maneuvering. But that was all I was raised on. Not making any waves, just dealing with problems below the surface.

“And have him admit that I was nothing but a leech he couldn't get rid of in front of Zale?”

Rose’s eyebrows lifted. “Or talk to him? Even the morning after?”

And there it was. The biggest regret of my life. Not a mistake, necessarily. Because at the time, it had felt like running was the only option. Everything was crumbling down around me and I was simply seeking shelter.

But I regretted not talking to him. To finally get answers one way or another.

I especially regretted doing what Nikolas had done to him. He’d hurt me beyond repair, but I wasn’t sure the appropriate payback was abandoning him without a word like his brother had.

“I was scared,” I whispered, unable to say it any louder. I knew it was stupid. And I didn’t do stupid things. It wasn’t in my nature.

“Hey, it's okay.” Rose’s hand was on my arm in a second, pressing down to soothe me. “I understand it. I ran without talking to Dominic. Almost made us both do something we’d regret for the rest of our lives.”

“What?” The word came out rushed, pushed out by the need to know how Dominic had hurt my best friend.

Rose smiled at my ferocity. “I’ll explain more after I know you’re okay, but there was…let’s call it a difference of opinion about whether or not we were Fated. I knew we were. He didn’t but told me we were to get me to marry him.”

I figured they were Fated. It was a weird thing. The Fates didn’t alter your mind to make you fall in love, but there were pairings they orchestrated to make the world keep spinning. There were plenty of loveless marriages that were the result of the Fates’ machinations.

My own engagement was Fated. Lukas and I’s parents had made sure of that before they’d gone through with the arrangement.

“When I found out,” Rose continued, “I thought it meant that everything that had happened between us was a lie. I was scared. So, I tried to bait him into killing me. Like he wanted to before we got married.”

I tried to school my features to hide the rage. Iknewthat motherfucker wanted to hurt her. If it wasn’t obvious that he loved her after Adrian’s drill, I would be on my way to go trip him down the stairs and make it look like an accident.

Rose smiled to herself, looking like she was reliving a fond memory. “He would have let me stab him fifteen times over and would have never laid a hand on me.”

Rose said it with such conviction, I settled back into the couch.

“If I’d have just talked to him,” Rose broke off, shaking her head and resetting her smile, “I would have saved myself even an hour of panic and grief.”

I opened my mouth to respond, push back a little. Rose didn’t let me. “But he didn’t betray my trust. I was worried he’d been forced into it. He didn’t owe me anything during the initial lie. Lukas didn’t tell you he wanted out of the engagement. And still crossed a line anyway.”

“I don’t understand why he wouldn’t tell me if he wanted out. We told each other everything.” Well, except for my massive, hopeless crush. But I was sure I’d kept that hidden. “I think that’s what got me. I went into shock. It was just so foreign that he’d keep anything from me.”

“Daphne,” Rose said softly. “Do you think he still is?”

“I don’t know.” I let out a heavy sigh, forcing myself to think about our interactions since I’d been back. Ifelthis care. “He was mad at me. Still is. But there’s something different. Something more…desperate than there was before.”

“So maybe, and don’t hate me for saying this, you heard him say something out of context."

Yeah, I had the same thought.

“I’m a little scared that I was wrong.” Terrified was the better word for it.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com