Page 77 of Heathens


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Why?

He pulled away from me a little as he looked down into my eyes. “Is everything okay?”

I nodded and curled against his warm skin.

His hand ran through my hair and then he kissed me on the forehead. I lay in his arms knowing I had been deceived, taken, fucked by someone I knew without consent.

I hadn’t agreed to fuck Locke those nights.

I’d agreed to fuck a masked stranger.

Although I laid there thinking…

Knowing I wanted him to do it again.

I was losing my mind.

I was losing my fucking mind.

My stomach flipped and turned.

How could this be?

How could I have not known?

How could he have done this to me?

I didn’t move. I remained still, numb.

“Baby girl, what’s wrong?” he asked, clearly sensing the madness taking hold over me.

I looked up at him and saw the concern and care in his eyes and I broke down. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him and ask him how he could have done this to me. But instead, I faltered.

“You… Locke. You…” I stammered as I tried to make sense of the man I was staring at.

He looked confused.

“How could you?” I asked. Rage was reaching the surface. So close. So fucking close.

I watched Locke’s expression change.

“You fucking took what wasn’t yours!” I yelled as I pushed him away, somehow finding the courage and fight that had been locked inside of me.

He tried to grab me again, but I moved away from him and jumped off the bed, backing away from him.

“You fucking stalked me! You fucked me while you hid your identity!”

“Storee… calm down.”

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! You fucked me as my screams filled the forest! And you left me there! You left me there in the dirt!” I yelled as the tears came. “It wasn’t just a stranger. It was you! You!”

Insanity had fully set in now.

Locke sat up fully, calm and collected. “You turned on the red light. You consented the minute you—”

“I didn’t consent to you! Not to you!”

I buried my face in my hands, the tears now streaming down my face.

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