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I was so busy enjoying the emphasis I put on that second ‘really’ that I didn’t see the right hook coming. I took it because, deep down, I felt sorry for him. Zachary was right. She’d broken him. Although he had also, very clearly, broken her.
‘Stay away from her.’
‘Can’t, mate. You fucked up and that’s the only reason she’s living with me.’
‘What did you just say?’
‘I said you fucked up. You caged her and then you ignored her, mate. Her life was going to work, coming home and waiting for you. Sometimes till midnight. She wouldn’t eat alone or go to bed until you told her to. That’s downright abusive.’
‘She told you I was abusive?’
‘Of course not. She thinks the sun shines out of your bloody arse.’
He stood there quietly, digesting what I just told him.
‘I always called to make sure she’d eaten and that she wasn’t waiting up for me.’
His tone wasn’t one of defence, but of self-criticism. I did my best to hold him against the ropes, but anyone could see that he wasn’t a bad bloke; which made it hard to dislike him.
‘Maybe if you’d got home straight after work, like you demanded of her, you would’ve seen it.’ Take that. You are not my friend.
‘Ariella’s panic attacks are exacerbated by alcohol. She used to get them all the time. Sometimes they’d grip her so hard, she’d pass out. They were terrifying. I wanted her home so I could look after her.’
‘Yet you let her walk away mid-attack from a party and regularly worked until midnight?’
‘I apologised for that. I was annoyed. I didn’t make good decisions that day. Also, I didn’t work till midnight all the time; I was usually home by ten.’
‘Any other woman would think you had a bit on the side.’
‘I most certainly didnotcheat on her. I never would.’
‘Whatever. The choice is Ariella’s. If she ultimately decides to go back to you, I won’t stand in the way.’
‘Why would you stand in the way?’
Time to let him know he has some competition.
‘I’m falling for her.’
The last thing I expected Jasper to do was laugh.
‘You’re a good guy, Caleb, and it’s obvious you care about Ariella, but you can’t give her what she needs. She’s used to a level of access that is beyond your reach. You just don’t have the same values or opportunities. You’ll always feel like you’re catching up, and you never will, because she’s two hundred miles in front of you, and that gap is only going to get wider, because she’s in a sports car and you’re on a bicycle.’
I would have ignored him if there was the slightest hint of malice in his voice. But even my friends saw the gap. Everyone believed I’d never be enough for Ariella and she’d never let me near her; but she had let me touch her. She’d kissed me. I checked almost obsessively to make sure she wanted to, because a large part of me couldn’t believe it either. It was very clear that she was still in love with Jasper. Only then did it hit me. She’d called my bluff. She got undermeto try to get over Jasper. I was just her means to their end.
I’d watched them hold each other’s gaze and communicate silently during lunch while everyone at the table was rooting for them. Only Dahlia checked in with me, mouthing, ‘Are you okay?’ whenever she caught my eye. Even she knew. Only Jasper could give her what she needed. I was just the entertainment. Em got it wrong. She didn’t see what I had seen. I felt the fury rise.
‘I’m going home.’ I didn’t need this.
‘Just hold on—’
‘No. Talk to your girlfriend. If you handle it right, she’ll be back at home with you tonight.’
I wanted to get out of the house as quickly as possible. I wasn’t expecting to see her by the door. I was so angry, I couldn’t look at her. The sooner she moved out, the better.
The first pint I sank by myself reminded me of how much I’d missed being in the pub alone. I didn’t notice Dash until she nudged me.
‘Hello, stranger.’ She placed her hands on my shoulders.
