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‘Please don’t kill my son.’
I follow her into the unusually quiet house. ‘Where is everybody?’
‘Seb and Leo are sleeping over at friends’, Tim should be back soon and Jack spent the night at Lou’s last night.’
‘Jack went home?’
‘Yes, he’s going to spend the weekend, to see how it goes.’
‘He’s going back. It’s all been for nothing.’
‘I wouldn’t say that. She’s been putting in some work. She admits she has a problem.’
‘Whatever problem Louisa has isn’t going to be fixed in two weeks.’
‘Louisa has a problem! Louisa has a problem!’ Alfie is now swinging on my arms and singing. I join the chorus two more times.
‘I don’t have the strength to deal with both of you right now,’ Em sighs, while giving me a dirty look. ‘Beer?’
‘No thanks. Apple juice, straight up, on the rocks please. Apple on the rocks, Alfie?’
‘Yeah.’
I sit on the stool and put Alfie on my lap.
‘Bartender, make it snappy please,’ I demand.
‘Yes, bartender! Snappy!’ Alfie echoes.
‘I hate you,’ Em mouths at me.
‘What was that, bartender? Hope you’re not expecting a tip! Should we tip her?’ I laugh and Alfie laughs along with me.
‘No tip!’ he says, still laughing.
‘No tip it is,’ I agree.
Em serves up two pretty decent apple juices on the rocks with decorative apple wedges and cocktail umbrellas.
‘Want to tell me why are you really here? It’s Friday night. We know not to even think about you on a Friday night,’ Em interrogates.
‘Apart from coming to hang out with my buddy here…’ I hold my palm up and Alfie meets my high five, ‘…I wanted to check on Jack and maybe take him and your husband out for a beer. Now I know why he’s been ghosting me.’
I notice Alfie is keenly following the conversation.
‘Alfie, if you let Mum run you a bath and you play in it like a good boy until she comes to get you, I’ll get her to pack a bag with your homework, so you can stay with me this weekend. I’ll even drop you off at school on Monday morning.’
He is off my lap like a shot, screaming, ‘MUM!’ as he rushes up the stairs.
‘Are you serious?’ Em asks, looking delighted.
‘Yup. I’ll take him. Let’s give Tim something to come home for.’
‘Tim? I’m just looking forward to being drunk in an hour.’
She runs up the stairs as fast as her son and, within minutes, she’s back downstairs with a video monitor, so she can keep an eye on Alfie in the bath.
‘Tell me everything,’ she demands as she grabs a bottle of wine and glass before sitting down opposite me. ‘Did you take my advice?’
