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‘Shut up. You’re not allowed to come back here or say anything about it. Members only and it’s not exactly legal.’
Lara pours a neat whisky and hands it to me.
‘Cheers.’
She knocks hers back and pours another one. I take a sip. There is no way I’m getting drunk with Lara. I cut to the chase.
‘Why am I here?’
She ignores my dig, while making her disdain obvious.
‘What’s going on with you?’ she asks, leaning forward.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re acting…neutered. You’re less grabby, haven’t been your usual slimy self and aren’t even acknowledging the low-hanging fruit.’
‘Maybe if I didn’t have to deal with all those dick pics you’ve been sending me all week…’
‘Bollocks. I gave what’s-her-chops from the lads’ mag downstairs fifty quid to take you out for a drink.’
‘I’ve no idea who you’re talking about.’
‘The one with the boobs that giggles, says “seen” at everything and won’t stop jumping up and down when she claps.’
‘Nope.’
‘This is my point. She said she asked you, but you gave her some lame excuse and didn’t bite.’
‘You mean Di?’
‘That’s it. Di. She said you’ve been after her for a while. Now she’s game, you’re thanking her for the invite, but declining? I want to know what’s going on.’
‘Nothing.’ Lara is the last person I want to talk to about this.
‘That’s what I thought. You’ve caught feelings. Serves you right. That’s what you get when you stick your bits in places they don’t belong. How bad is it?’
‘Lara, find somebody else to play with.’ I put my glass down and get ready to leave.
‘Don’t make me say it, I might vomit.’
‘Say what?’
‘Ariella can’t go back to Jasper.’
‘Why not?’ I ask.
‘Because, much to my disgust, I’m fairly sure she has feelings for you too. Yuck. Iamgoing to throw up.’ Lara balls up a fist and puts it to her closed mouth.
Everything stops; this is Lara I am talking to.
‘She told you that, did she?’ I get ready to catch her in a lie.
‘Of course not. I’m not even sure she knows, but it’s jumbled up in there somewhere. She won’t shut up about you. She hardly ever spoke about Jasper, but with you she’s a right bloody canary. It’s annoying, but I love her, so I put up with it. Stop smiling. It’s painfully depressing.’
She’s still talking to Lara about me. My heart wants to burst out of my chest but I do my best to keep an indifferent exterior.
‘Why are you telling me?’
