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She drops her dress, then to her knees to undo my trousers.
‘Mel, I can’t.’
I try to grab her hands but my belt is gone and my fly is already open. She looks up at me from the floor with her big brown eyes.
‘You’re definitely ready now…I popped a little help in your cocktail earlier.’
She pulls down my trousers and my hard-on springs free. I am not only furious, I’m disgusted. I want to shove her away, leave and never see her again, but I swallow it all and plaster a smile on my face. I cannot lose Singapore’s sales. She will take it all from me. They are already panicking about the cancelled projects and, if I fuck this up, I’m getting sacked.
She takes her time stroking me and then closes her mouth around me. Revulsion and loathing invade me, but I am trapped.
‘Good boy,’ she says, giggling, like she is talking to a pet.
It’s degrading. I close my eyes so that I don’t see her sickeningly take her time with me, pulling me into her mouth and out again. When she has had enough, she undresses me as I stand powerless and fearful of what pushing her away might unleash. I’ve seen people who end up on the wrong side of Melissa. She delights in their destruction. After she peels away my shirt, she sits me down on the bed before she pushes me onto my back.
‘I want you to make love to me, Caleb. Just one last time,’ she demands. I try again.
‘Mel, I’d rather we didn’t.’
‘Caleb, I made you. I just want this little thing. We’re still friends, aren’t we? You can keep it all, but I want this. You want your cancellations to stop, don’t you? I can make that happen. Do this for me and you have my permission. I’ll let you go andshewill never know about tonight.’
She delivers her words so softly and calmly, while kissing me, that she could be telling me all the things she loves about me. I could shut this out. It would just be this last time. Ariella and I haven’t made anything formal, we are still figuring it out, so this really isn’t cheating, I try to convince myself, when I know otherwise. I shut my eyes as Mel kisses my chest and strokes my torso softly. She doesn’t wait for my response.
‘Stay still,’ she instructs, impatiently.
She climbs on top and manoeuvres me inside her, as I lie as still as I possibly can underneath. She pulls my hands to her breasts, encouraging me to grab them, but I just want this to be over. She finally finds her stride as I try to block out the feeling of her body rocking back and forth on top of me. She grinds down deeper into herself, oscillating her hips and getting what she needs from me, eventually bringing herself to a climax and collapsing on top of me. At the very same time, I feel debased. She looks pleased with herself as she crawls up next to me, then wraps my arms round her.
‘I just wanted to say goodbye, Caleb. Are you angry with me?’ Mel has never cared what I think, so I tell her whatever vile thing she wants to hear.
‘No. I understand,’ I lie.
‘I’ll look after you, I promise. Are we still friends?’
‘Of course we are.’
I lie there repulsed at myself, trying not to move, until she falls asleep. When she does, I stare at the ceiling in the dark room, trying to justify what has just happened. This is the last time with Mel. She knows we are done. It’s good closure to have an encore. I know it’s all bollocks. That’s why I had my hands above my head the minute she let go, and kept my eyes shut, begging silently for it to stop. I check if she’s sleeping deeply. When I’m satisfied she is, I quietly pack my things and write her a note.
Hey Mel,
Ridiculously early meeting. As usual it was an absolute pleasure. I still like you.
Your friend,
Caleb
I leave it on my side of the bed for her to find and take a car to my Hyatt room. I head straight into the shower to scrub every inch of me free of Melissa. It’s not until I sit on the untouched bed in the dark, wrapped in nothing but a towel, that I feel like I can finally breathe. Then, for the very first time since that first night in a police cell, a wave of regret, fear and uncertainty hits me. Without any warning, I put my head in my hands and cry. All the tension, thoughts, turmoil and trappings of the last few weeks rush out.
When I’ve composed myself, I turn off my phone, get dressed, leave the clothes I was wearing that night on the floor of the hotel room, check out and head to the airport. I never want to come back here again.
THIRTY-THREE
ARIELLA
‘Hi,’ I say when Jasper opens the door excitedly. His hair is messy and his eyes are bright with mischief. He is barefoot, in his most worn jeans and an old Indiana Jones T-shirt I bought him from a French street market. The butterflies in my stomach jolt awake.
‘Hi.’ He puts out his hand. ‘Come on in.’
I am not sure I want to. Jasper is supposed to be in his suit, fresh from work and a little stressed. The person I have just come face to face with looks like the boy I once knew.
