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‘No.Hewaited. One minute you’re graduating after hiding from everyone at university for three years and you cannot bear to be around each other. Then we go away for one weekend and suddenly he’s asking to speak to your father privately? Your father didn’t help either; he wouldn’t listen. He was so happy, he gave his blessing away like free chopsticks with takeaway. I love Jasper more than I love Zachary most of the time, but your father loves Jasper too much and was too frightened to trust anyone else with you. Meanwhile, we have a more immediate problem.’
‘Oh no?’
‘He has a date. There’s no way you’re going to sit there being a victim while some woman we don’t know drapes herself all over him. I don’t care who it is, but you need a date.’
‘Can I think about it? I don’t want him to think I left to be with someone else.’ I already knew the answer.
‘No. You can’t. And we both know there is no chance that he’d think that. Get a date, because hiding in your room for this one is not an option. Oh, and I love you. Even though you’ve been very, very naughty.’
With that, she hung up.
I hate it when she does that. She knows how to make me uncomfortable enough to do something I wouldn’t ordinarily do. I love and trust my mother, but she’s always the last person I’d confide in. Unfortunately, it makes no difference. She is always able to sniff out any situation I’m in, pry it out of me and make me take action. She’s fearless, bold, confident and isn’t scared of anything. She just has a hard time believing that I’m not her.
‘Aari!’ Lara interrupts my thoughts.
‘Sorry.’
‘Jasper is bringing someone to the family dinner? Not the “Joe Public” party afterwards, to the actual family dinner?’ Lara’s voice is getting louder and her finger is getting jabbier by the syllable. ‘Dahlia is bang on. You do need a date. And they need to be insanely hot,andyou need a killer dress. Like, SERIOUSLY KILLER. That arsehole is doing this to piss you off. Bringing his date to the party would be the default revenge move, but the family dinner? That’s just a fucking insult. I know your mum treats Jasper like Zachary, but she needs to extend that treatment to include a slap every now and then. Who the hell does he think he is? The audacity, the gumption, the—’
‘Lara, you said you wouldn’t overreact.’
‘This is meunder-reacting. Right. I’m dressing you for the party.’
Dread fills me. The last time we went shopping together, we spent six hours looking at eye-wateringly expensive clothes that neither of us were going to buy while Lara turned me into her personal clothes horse, even though we have different body types. It was a nightmare and I’m not keen to repeat the experience.
‘It’s okay, I think I have a dress I can wear.’
‘Heeeell no. I’ve seen your wardrobe. You’re getting a new dress and it needs to be insane. I’ll pick out some for you to try the day before the party. Next, you need a date.’
‘I don’t want to rub Jasper’s face in it by bringing a stranger, Lara. You have to remember that I’m the bad guy here.’
‘Maybe, but he has declared outright war by bringing a date to the family dinner. You have to respond. If we set you up on Swipey, you have three weeks to meet someone and “de-stranger” them enough to invite them to the party.’
‘Isn’t that just for people that want to get laid?’
‘Not everyone wants to get laid…straight away. Just have a couple of conversations, meet them for coffee, string it out a bit and get them to the party. They have to be smoking hot, though. I mean it. Gimme your phone.’
‘I’m not sure about this…’
Lara shoots me a threatening look. ‘You have less than a month, Aari. You need to wade through the sewer. It’s much harder than you think.’
‘I’ll look at it tonight.’
‘Aari?’ Lara reaches for my hand across the table and holds it in hers. ‘I want you to know that I think you’re brave. It takes real courage to walk away from a situation that so many people invested in.’
‘Are you being nice or insulting?’
‘A bit of both. I’m trying to tell you that you can go to this party alone and be fine. You don’t need a date. However, my pettiness and desire for you to get one up on Jasper would love you to have one.’
I have to laugh. ‘I promise to give pettiness a go.’
‘Don’t forget to take the Friday afternoon before off. We have a dress to buy.’
After our meal, Lara and I head back to work and, by the end of that week, Bamidele is back in CrimeSpree’s house, without him suspecting a thing.
TEN
CALEB
