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‘Yes, sorry.’
‘It’s no problem. I work at Ivory Bow.’
‘Also, no interns.’
‘I’m not an intern.’
‘Really? Where do you sit?’
She turns round and gestures to the events team. ‘Over there.’
‘How long have you worked here?’
‘Just under two years…Can’t I just send you the paperwork you need?’
She looks impatient, but stays glued to the closed door.
‘How come I’ve never seen you?’
‘I don’t know, but I see you and the sales team when you give your updates every Friday at the tena.m. So, is the room available?’
‘Yes. I mean, no. The room isn’t available.’
‘Which is it?’
‘It is, but I’m not really looking to share with a chick. You’re cute and all, it’s nothing personal.’ I know I am being terribly blunt, but I smile and give her a wink to soften the blow.
‘Please don’t call me cute, and I’m not poultry. Why won’t you share with a woman?’
Someone clearly didn’t plan on charming their way into the apartment.
‘It’s more of a guys’ apartment.’
‘How? There are two bedrooms. The only guy in there is you.’
She’s a feisty one. I find myself starting to like her as she stands there, seemingly with no intention of moving. In fact, she finally releases the handle, crosses her arms, plants her feet and shifts her hips to one side.
‘I don’t think having a female as a housemate is going to work for me and I really don’t have to explain.’
‘Listen. I need this room. I’ll pay twenty per cent above whatever you’re asking. I can send you three months’ deposit and six months’ rent in advance, within the next two hours, if we can agree to this right now. You can have priority over the living room for whateverguys’ activitiesyou have planned, and I’ll stay out of your way in my bedroom. I am going to need the kitchen though. If I decide to cook, I’ll cook for two; and, aside from staying away from any serious allergies you might have, I don’t take meal requests.
‘We each have our own bathrooms, so no issues there. The rest of the bills, we split down the middle. I won’t be your maid, but I will do my fair share of communal cleaning. I’m giving you one minute, and if you don’t take me up on my offer I’m walking out. I won’t negotiate and won’t make the offer again. Let’s hope the hypothetical guy you’d prefer to move in with doesn’t make excuses about why the apartment is always messy, or why he can’t quite make the rent again this month.’
She sets the timer on her little gold and silver watch. Wait…is that a Rolex?
We look at each other and silence sits between us. When she checks her watch, I glance at the ticking second hand on my desktop’s digital clock. I wait until five seconds to time.
‘Fine. Deal. You’re a tough one.’ I laugh.
She doesn’t. In fact, she looks like she is about to cry. Oh no. What have I done?
‘Great. I’ll use the original rent figure as a base and pop twenty per cent on top. Can I have your bank details and home address?’
She steps forward purposefully with an outstretched hand. I scribble the details down and hand the paper over. As she scans it, I deal with some additional points.
‘I’ll get some keys cut and the tenancy agreement over to you this week. When do you plan on moving in?’
‘Today, after work, at about six thirty? It’d be great to do keys tonight, but I don’t mind waiting for the agreement. Is that all right?’ She allows herself to smile a little. Finally.
