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‘Night, Aari. Wait! Before I go, whatever you do, don’t go drinking with Harrison. Love him to death and he’s pretty harmless, but you won’t like him tipsy.’ She laughs again and hangs up.
Lara is right. I did alienate Caleb. I find him on the couch, nursing his beer; so I sit next to him.
‘Turns out it’s a thing I do. I’m sorry,’ I apologise.
‘I’m sorry too. Can you go back to being annoying now?’ He pokes me in the ribs and I can’t help laughing. I’ve missed Caleb talking and distracting me from the mountain of work I have to get through. It’s been a lonely few days.
‘As long as we don’t go back to normal with you. You’ve made Nicole your girlfriend?’ I’ve been dying to talk to him about it.
‘You’re obsessed! No.’
‘That’s not what it looked like yesterday – and you cooked her dinner.’ I clap.
‘Stop bobbing up and down like a toddler. I’d almost prefer you go back to being quiet,’ he says, already irritated.
‘Caleb, having a girlfriend is a good thing. Maybe you’ll soften each other up.’
‘You’re actually happy at the idea. That scenario can only end as a true-crime special. One of us is going to wind up dead; and it’s not going to be her found choking on her own penis.’
‘So why all the public affection?’
‘I’ll fucking murder you if you repeat this…’
While Caleb looks distressed, I can’t help feeling excited.
‘I haven’t been able to get the excitement going with Nicole for a while.’
‘What do you mean?’ I am perplexed.
‘How are you an adult? I’ve struggled to meet her needs…sexually.’
‘Oh…’
I honestly don’t expect the laughter that escapes. Caleb is visibly annoyed.
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Did you break it? To be fair, it was bound to happen. You do use it a lot. Is that why you’ve been avoiding her? Isn’t there a tablet you can take for that?’
‘It’s working, but just not with her. Any more. On Monday morning, the conditions were perfect, but no lift-off…’
‘Nothing happened on Sunday night?’
‘I slept on the couch.’
‘Oh, man.’ I reach over and give Caleb a hug.
‘It’s pretty fucking embarrassing and if I don’t handle it right the office is going to hear about it.’
‘You can’t pretend there’s more between you to hide your…’ I point quickly at his crotch. ‘It’s a little cruel.’
‘I could sleep with someone else at work. That’ll be easy enough.’ He shrugs, seriously considering it.
‘Caleb! No. That would be terrible.’
‘I was doing quite all right until you started infecting me with your conscience.’ He takes a swig of his beer, looking sorry for himself. ‘You got the energy for aSopranosepisode?’
‘Yes. How far did you get without me?’
‘I didn’t.’
