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She reaches out to take my hand and squeeze it. “Ma chérie, you need to tell Miles that you’re pregnant. You owe that to him. But that doesn’t mean you have to be in a relationship with him. This is thetwenty-first century. If you want to do this on your own, you know you can, don’t you? We’ll be here to support you. If, after the exhibit at the Louvre, you wish to return to New York, Gabriel will be there for you. If you decide to stay here, which I must admit I’d prefer, you have me, your dad, and Jo to support you.”
Tears glimmer in my eyes. With my rampant hormones, I’m so teary-eyed these days.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I know it’s your life and you’re a grown woman, able to make your own choices, but here’s just some advice.”
I nod and sniff. “Okay.”
“Don’t get back together with Pierre. He isn’t good for you. It isn’t just that he cheated on you and refused to commit. He was weighing you down. I didn’t like it then, but I couldn’t do anything about it, because you loved him. I was glad when you broke up, even though it made you sad for a while. But I’m glad you’re back on your feet now and having a baby with someone else.”
“Even if that man doesn’t want a serious relationship? Even if I again fell for a man who refuses to commit?”
“Oh,ma bichette.” She throws her arms around me. “How are you sure he isn’t ready for commitment when you haven’t told him about the baby?”
I pull away from her arms. “That’s because I know him. All he wants from me is sex. He enjoys my company, but that’s it. He has never mentioned anything about a future with me.” I blink back my tears. “He’s still hung up on his late wife, and I can’t be with such a man. I also don’t want him to think I intentionally got pregnant to make him propose to me. I was on the pill, but he might think I lied to him.”
“He’d be foolish to think that. They’re not a hundred percent guaranteed.”
“I know that, but does he?”
“You’ll never know what he thinks if you don’t talk to him.”
I sniff and allow myself to think about Miles and Ashlyn. I’ve built a wall around my heart to stop myself from thinking about how much I love and miss him. He’s probably in the Hamptons with his family. I imagine them seated around a Christmas tree tomorrow morning, exchanging gifts, hugs, and kisses. Will he think of me and long for me the way I do for him?
“All will turn out for the best.” My mom hugs me and kisses my wet cheek before pulling away.
I wipe away my tears just as Jo comes in to assist with setting the table. We begin talking as we devour the delicious meal. We finish dinner with a cheese platter and salad.
“I’m surprised you’re still awake, Maddie. I thought you were an early bird,” I tease my niece as she reaches for a piece of brie.
She giggles. “Dad warned me about the long celebration. So, I took a nap after lunch.”
“Oh, that’s smart.” I gently stroke her hair.
Again, I wonder if the baby nestled in my womb is a boy or a girl. I want a baby girl so much. Being with Maddie these past weeks and meeting Ashlyn has made me long for a daughter I could take to ballet lessons, play girlish games with, and wear matching outfits with. I wonder if Miles would prefer a boy.
Miles! My heart thumps in my chest, and I’m mad at myself at the realization that I still love him. I’ve tried to stop, but how do you tell your heart to fall out of love? It was way easier to move on from Pierre’s heartbreak than Miles’s.
“Are you all right, Gigi?” Jo questions me as we take the empty plates to the kitchen. Her sky-blue eyes are filled with worry.
My mom comes in with theBûche de Noël, Maddie yelping with delight at the sight of the cake.
“Gigi?”
“I’m fine, Jo.”
“Are you sure?” Her gaze is penetrating.
“Fine. I couldn’t help thinking about Miles . . . and his daughter.”
She places a hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you call him and talk to him?”
I shake my head. “And have him sweet talk me into his bed again?”
“You don’t know that. You told me he came to your apartment wanting to speak to you. Maybe you should have listened to what he had to say.”
“I already know what he had to say. He would tell me sweet nothings, fuck me senseless, tell me that I’m his, and I would fall for it all over again. He would return to his daughter and his family, and I would return home waiting for him to text me back, wondering why I gave in again. Jo, I want more than that for me and my child. If I was sure that he loved me, I wouldn’t have left New York without telling him I was pregnant.”
