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“Damn girl, you’re way hotter than your pics.”
Eyes widening, Josie jerked her gaze away from the hot guy running her card, and found a tall, redheaded man standing next to her. “NahTNurse,” she muttered. A cough, followed by a snort of laughter came from behind the pastry case.‘Yeah, I know buddy. I feel the same.’
“Yeah baby, that would be me but you can call me Tanner.” The way he grinned made Josie’s skin crawl. Any hope she’d had that he wouldn’t be a total sleazebag went right out the window. “You know, you need to do something about that profile, babe, it’s false advertising.”
“It is?” There was nothing wrong with her profile. Everything about it, including the photos, were an honest representation of who she was. Her mother and she had made sure of that.
“Yeah. You’re much sexier. When I read about all those cats and how you’re needing a fake boyfriend I thought for sure you were going to be a catfish.”
“Yeah. You're much sexier. When I read about all those cats and how you're needing a fake boyfriend I thought for sure you were going to be a porker who stole some hotties pic to lure in unsuspecting guys like myself.” She was going to murder her Aunt Beckett. Murder her. “So, Josie,” the way he said her name made her skin crawl, “I have one question for you.”
“And what's that?” She didn't bother to hide her disdain. If Tanner noticed how frosty she had become he hid it well.
“Are you a natural blonde?” He wiggled his brows again. “Does the carpet match the drapes?”
The question didn't deserve an answer. Without saying a word, Josie turned on the ball of her foot and headed towards the door. She ignored his demands that she come back.'You are not going to believe what just happened,'she text Louise before logging onto the Love Buzz and blocking NahTNurse.
Chapter Six
Josie
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.’ - Socrates
It had been four days since the NahTNurse fiasco. Four days of her mother threatening to put Aunt Beckett into a home, Aunt Beckett cracking up over the carpet matching the drapes comment, and Louise pleading with her to not give up. Third times the charm and whatnot. Whatever. There was no way in hell Josie was going on another blind date with some sleazeball someone else had picked out on an overpriced app. Her disdain for being set up on blind dates by relatives was one of the reason’s she’d been on the hunt for a fake boyfriend. It was her own fault. She could acknowledge that. She’d let having her mother’s attention cloud her judgment. If Ruth hadn’t stepped in, Josie would have caved and just come clean.
“You’re way too pretty to sit around moping.”
A plate with leftover pizza appeared in front of her; pepperoni with black olives and extra cheese. Nose wrinkled, Josie picked off the greasy discs of meat. “NahTNurse was my bad karma for lying,” she muttered before taking a small bite.
“Doubtful.” Ruth plucked the discarded pepperoni from the side of Josie's plate and popped them into her mouth. “You're too nice for bad karma.”
“I lied to my family about having a boyfriend.”
Her mother rolled her eyes. “The only person you actually lied to is Kyle... and I'm not entirely certain he bought it.”
Josie set her pizza down and pushed the plate away. For all her turmoil over telling Kyle the truth, she didn't like him assuming she had lied.'You did lie.' “Did he say something?”
“Just that it's weird he hasn't met him.”
Fair. If the boyfriend was real, Kyle would have been the first to meet him. It was how they did things. “What did you tell him?”
“That you'd introduce us when an introduction was warranted.” Ruth gestured towards the half eaten piece of pizza. “Finished?” Without waiting for a response, she scooped the plate up and tossed it into the trash. “Now... don't be mad... but Louise and I have been messaging with someone on your behalf. He's been nothing but a gentleman. I told him I...you... would meet him for coffee later tonight.”
“No,” Josie bit out. “Absolutely not.”
“His name is Heart2Heart,” her mother continued, ignoring Josie’s protests.
***
Heart2Heart. The screen name was cheesy but no more so than the last two and her mother was right, his chats were polite. Not once did he ask her to send him 'kitty pictures' or what kind of underwear she was wearing; 'are they thong or cheeky' seemed to be the most popular. Heart2Heart just wanted to chat. His favorite subject was trying to help the colony of ferals that lived in the wooded area behind his house. The cats, and her mother's pleas, were the only reason Josie found herself walking back into Delilah's for another date.
“Back again?”
A surprised squeak slipped past Josie's lips. Heart pounding, she turned to find 'hot guy' standing behind her. Relief mixed with dread shot through her. Relief that he wasn't last week's pervert; dread because he had witnessed the debacle with the pervert. “I could ask you the same.”
“You could,” the hottie agreed. His lips twitched for a moment before stretching into a crooked smirk. Any hope she'd been holding onto that he didn't recall the 'does the carpet match the drapes' went out the window. He definitely remembered. And thought it was funny. “I own the place.” That was surprising. Josie had always assumed Delilah’s belonged to a sweet grandmotherly type, not a panty dropping hot guy. “You know,” he continued, “there are a lot of sickos on the net.”
Josie narrowed her eyes. “There's also a lot of judgmental assholes who claim to own coffee shops.” Who was he to judge how she met people? For all he knew she enjoyed the thrill of meeting men off the internet. Maybe she got off on hooking up with strangers. Okay, so she didn't but the guy behind her didn't know that.
