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“I don’t know, baby. You will have to ask my mom. She is the one with all the smart answers in our family. But I do know that God had sent you as a gift for Victoria. You see her. You understand her like I’ve never been able to. I think she tells you— and trusts you— more than me.”
Kira starts shaking her head, but I stop her. “It’s okay. I am glad she has someone she can open up to. I am glad that someone isyou.” I caress her face, and a corner of my mouth lifts. “But I wouldn’t say no to a little inside knowledge now and then.”
I meant this as a joke to break the heaviness but a dark shadow crosses Kira’s face once again. “What? What is it, baby?”
“I-I don’t know if I should say this, and it’s only my assumption, and I don’t want to betray her trust you say I have, and I—”
“Kira. Take a breath. You don’t have to tell me.”
“But I think I should.” Kira looks straight into my eyes. “I-I think her mother was abusing her.”
“What?” I jump off the bed. “She told you that?” My heart is beating out of my chest. This is not something I thought she would say.
“No. Not really. I don’t think she understands words like that. I surely didn’t at her age, but it’s the way she builds her questions around me, her eyes searching for an attack. It’s what I have done.”
“But I never saw anything on her body.” Forget beating fast, my heart is shrinking and breaking.
“Abuse has many shapes and forms. It isn’t always physical, Vas, and I think for Vee, it was more about yelling and screaming and discouraging her at such a young age. It left its print on her.” Kira bites her lip, and I know there’s more.
“Tell me,” I urge her.
“She also words her answers differently around you. But not out of fear that you will hurt her, but out of fear thatshewill hurtyou. She is terrified of that.”
“Oh my God. How have I never seen it?” My mind is spinning, bringing up each conversation I’ve had with her, and Jesus, Kira is right. My little girl is always so careful around me like she is walking on eggshells, and I haven’t seen it.
I’m too busy to see it.
“It’s not your fault, Vas.” Kira brings her hand to my face. “We know how to hide these things well, but she will be alright. No, she will be fantastic, because she has you.”
“And you,” I add, laying back down next to her and breathing in her calming scent. “She has you. Someone who can help her through it all.”
Suddenly, a grim realization hits me. My mother’s words are running through my mind.
Everything happens for a reason…
“I think I have that answer for you.”
“Which one?”
“The one about a phrase my mom said.”
“And?”
“She also said that everything happens for a reason, and I hated it. I still do. Now more than ever, but…everything happens for a reason. Because Vee and I met the missing piece to our broken family. We met someone who was also a little broken and who can see through our chrips.” My eyes meet hers. “We met the one who knows how to fill those holes because she’s done that to herself.”
Chapter forty-two
Kira
Song: Sleeping At Last – Turning Page
Idon’t think this is real. Maybe I fell asleep again because there is no way this beautiful man wants me in his life and around his daughter. There is no way I’m good enough for them.
But every word, every sound, and breath is that special tune my body never knew it needed. His touch, caress, piercing gaze is that key to unlocking those hidden parts of my heart.
He says he loves me, and I just keep repeating those words. Sometimes out loud, sometimes in my head, because maybe if I say it enough times, I won’t be afraid of it anymore.
He says I am exactly what Victoria needs, and I so desperately want it to be true, I believe him. Because I think she is whatIneed.
