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Captivated,Ifound my legs involuntarily moving toward them.Isettled on the bed withPoppy, separated byNeilin the middle, and savored the unconventional scene.
“Wednesday'schild is full of woe,”Poppycontinued in an unexpectedly melodic tone, her eyes drawing away once to glower at my bold move of sitting on her bed. “Thursday'schild has far to go.”
Thesight triggered an unexpected foreign emotion, catapulting irrational ideas to the forefront of my mind.Thefeelings were far from contrived, nor couldIsuppress the images conjured by my imagination.
WhenNeil'sbreathing evened out,Poppydrew the covers over him.Herhead reeled back when she caught the intensity shooting from my eyes. "Whyare you staring at me like that?"
Mygaze burned into her with the fervor of a wild animal ready to break out of its cage.Iwas on the brink of going mad and moments from losing control to pave the way.Myprolonged silence embellished whatIdesperately desired.Thewild hunger could barely be warded off, butIhad to focus on the bigger picture.
“Itwas a bad idea to let me see you that way,”Ifinally confessed.
“Whatway?”
Mygaze flickered to a sleepingNeil. “Theway you’re right now.”
“Why?”
Becauseit does things to me that might scare you.Myhead hit the pillow besideNeil’s, andIstretched out, one arm snaking under my hair. “You’renot ready to find out.”
Shescrutinized me without pressing further, perhaps realizing the answer.Neitherof us indulged in serene moments with our ridiculous families.SinceMompassed away,Icouldn’t remember a similarly peaceful instant despite the countless hours spent with them.Thishumble domestic experience had evoked similar thoughts in her.Ideassuch as leaving behind our family’s bullshit in exchange for something resembling happiness.
Yes,Poppy,Iunderstand you better than you think.You’rereminiscing about the last time you felt this content.Itwas before your father passed away.
“Willyou do me a favor?”Poppyasked out of the blue.
“Hmm?”
“Willyou ask me about my father?”
Ilifted my head from the pillow and studied her impassive face.
Poppy’sattention was onNeilas she stroked his dark hair. “Zanedoesn’t like it when we mentionPapa, so no one talks about him.It’sstarting to feel like he never existed.”
“Tellme about your father,”Iasked right away. “Whatwas he like?”
Fallingback on her pillow,Poppystared at the ceiling. “Warm.Nice.Theman was a genius.Alegend,” she thoughtfully recounted his qualities. “Iidolized him.Hewas a good person.Perhapstoo good of a person.Henever thought about himself, only about us.Everythinghe did was for his family.Hewas the glue who heldMomandItogether.”
“Whatis it like with your mom now?”
Sheturned onto her side. “Sheis different aroundZane.Idon’t recognize her.”
“Andwhat is it like withZane?”
Poppydistractedly picked at a loose thread on the sheet beneath her. “Weused to go on cruises whenIwas young.Everyyear,Mominsisted on taking the same professional family photo onboard.Shesafeguarded the framed pictures because she always forgot to request digital copies.AfterPapapassed away, she gave me the entire collection.Saidit was our family documented over the years.Iorganized them and displayed them by the year.ButwhenImoved into the dorms, there wasn’t enough space.Momsuggested choosing one photo and storing the rest here untilIcould clear out some space.”
“Idon’t follow.Whatdoes that have to do withZane?”
Poppylet out a heavy sigh. “Bythe timeImade room and returned for the picture frames,Zanehad found the photos and cutPapa’sface out of them.”Shepointed at her desk; it was a picture ofPoppyand her parents in a frame decorated with seashells. “It’sthe only one still intact.”
“That’svery cruel,”Imurmured.
“WhenIconfronted him,Zanetold me never to bring that filth inside his house again.Doesthat answer your question about my relationship withZane?”
“He’sa sadistic asshole,”Isaid bluntly. “Didyou ever tell your mom?”
Poppylay on her back, andImirrored the pose.Outof the corner of my eye,Iwatched her shake her head. “Momused to cry a lot afterPapagot sick.IfIruined their relationship, she’d go back to being depressed.Whatwould be the point in making her sad?”
Iwanted to killZanefor what he did toPoppy.Hedidn’t deserve to breathe the same air as her.However, she’d never be able to maintain a relationship with her mother if things weren’t mended with him.
