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My heart thudded. I was so careful not to reveal the real genesis of my hatred. The hurt I had buried deep, deep down, where he could never see. Because if Andrew knew how much I had been hurt when he moved out of our shared office and moved on from my life, he would know how deeply his opinion had mattered to me. Not that it mattered anymore. So screw it. If we were getting fired, I was laying it all out.
“We were friends!” The words burst out of me after so many years of holding them in.
Andrew’s eyebrows went up and I waited for a cutting remark. But nothing came.
Emboldened, I continued. “We were friends and then you ruined it.Youmoved out of the shared office without so much as a warning to me.” We had been each other’s support system for a year. One of the hardest years of my life actually, and Andrew had been there for me every single day. For a year, we had eaten dinner in the office together every night. Twenty minutes where we talked about our work, and later, our fears and our dreams.
For a year, I had known every glorious detail about Andrew. He only took his suit jacket off after 5 pm, and he only rolled up his sleeves after 8 pm. He made sure to only use one spritz of cologne because he felt that people who forced their scents upon others were “monsters.” He preferred old pre-war apartments to newer construction, didn’t really mind the rats on the subway but was terrified of cockroaches, refused to buy anything except Hermes ties, and ran 11 miles every Sunday morning.
Until one day, he had stopped responding to my texts, grabbed a box of his things, and moved to a new office. He’d found new friends too, rich ones. He had always moved through the world with confidence. And without him I had been adrift.
“I started it? What the hell are you talking about?Yourefused to speak to me for amonth, and then you proceeded to treat me like your enemy foryears.” His voice was rough and urgent. A tiny thread of doubt made my stomach flip.You started getting drinks with Caroline, not me. You stopped saying hi to me in the halls.I felt ill at the memories of my weakness, how much I had depended on him.
I crossed my arms. “I did not. If anything I just didn’t talk to you because I assumed youhated me!” I hissed and his eyes closed briefly in the face of my words.
When he opened them, they were shadowed. I deflated like an old balloon left in the sun.
“Margo. We have to get past this. This situation is serious. Hate me if you need to, but pretend to like me until they move on.” He was practically begging me and suddenly I felt like the ass. Was this how he saw things? Meneedingto hate him. Me causing him pain?
The realization was a punch to the gut.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured. I’m willing to put this behind us if you are. And I don’t hate you.” I held my breath as I waited for his response. This was the most honest I had been with Andrew in years. He looked slightly stunned at my response.
“I was going through a lot at the time.” His throat worked. “I made a stupid decision. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you saw it that way.” His eyes were shadowed as he held my gaze. He was waiting for a response. Suddenly, I was eager to absolve him of this. A fresh start. My heart lifted. I nodded and gave him a half smile. He smiled back and a tiny bit of warmth in my chest flared into life.
He nodded. “We need to make this work and in order to do that we need rules. We know that if we can’t get along, we are both going to get fired.” At the word fired, my heart started to pound. I could not get fired from this job. I had to try. “So what is essential to our sanity? For the next month, well,hopefullyonly a month or two.”
I grabbed the paper and started a list.
“That’s my girl.”
“Ew, Andrew,” I grumbled, but at least we were back in comfortable territory.And there we needed to stay.
“Rules of engagement?”
“I get first choice of desk.” His voice was smug, confident.
“Already with the demands! I thought we weren’t enemies.”
“We might not be enemies, but we are very much still rivals.”
I rolled my eyes. Andrew had always loved negotiating. “Anyways, that’s not fair at all. We should rock paper scissors for it.” I glowered at him. Of course he wanted the best desk for himself. He gave me an unrepentant grin and I sucked in a breath. Why did he have to be so handsome, even when he was being awful?
“No.” He considered me and I let my gaze sweep over his strong hands that idly flipped his pen, his suit pants pulling tight over his lean thighs, his expensive loafers. “I’ll give you the better desk but I want a favor in exchange.”
I chewed my lip. Playing this game with Andrew was like tugging on a tiger’s tail. One day when it was most hurtful to me he would call in a favor.
“What kind of favor?”
“Up to me. But you’ll like it.” His eyes were hot and I shivered a little.Does he mean that kind of favor?He was certainly looking at me like he wanted to eat me with a spoon.Say something!Don’t just stare at him like he’s a shark and you’re dinner.
“Sure, ok.” I could feel myself getting red. “Rule number two is no talking on speaker phone. You’re like the loudest talker on this whole floor.”
“It’s just my deep and lovely voice.” He winked at me.
“Keep telling yourself that,” I shot back.
“Rule number three is no leggings,” he responded.
