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“I don’t want to be a thing with him.” I protested. “But if I’m being honest, I do want to have sex with him again.”
Cynthia heaved a sigh. “Remember Caroline Tan?”
“Vaguely? I think she was only there for a short time while we were.”
“Yes,” Cynthia said urgently. “Because she was counsel trying to make partner and got involved with another counsel at the firm. They were going to get married, and she was told that it was a conflict of interest and that they couldn’t have married partners in the group. I think they were just scared that Caroline and Steve would unite against them in partnership votes. But she was told that Steve was the one they wanted to keep. Convenient for them that he was a white man. Caroline Tan is a cautionary tale. You know what happens if you fall in love with Andrew Markman, assuming he doesn’t break your heart? You get a nice talking to from Gerald and a long runway to find something else.”
“Shit.” Cynthia was right. I had forgotten about Caroline but Cynthia’s words rang true. Getting openly involved with Andrew would trash my reputation in front of the partners.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s not like that. He had feelings for me in the past, but he was very clear that he doesn’t have them anymore. He’s over it. And I think it was just lust anyways. He wasn’t really in love with me,” I scoffed. There was no way. I refused to believe it. “Besides, there’s no way I could ever fall for him. You’re right, it was good to just get it out of my system.” My voice sounded unconvincing, even to me.
“If you’re sure…” Cynthia sounded skeptical. “Just be careful ok?”
I had to be. If I had the choice between Andrew and my reputation, I would never choose him.
22
Andrew
Iwoke up wanting Margo. I had opened Pandora’s box and thoughts of her consumed me, had me hard upon waking in my new bed. To make matters worse, I had three missed calls from Ann and an email demanding that I call her. Apparently, the general counsel at Aggregate Shipping was upset that documents hadn’t been sent yet. I was supposed to be keeping my workload light now that Margo and I were full steam ahead on Bankman, but Ann didn’t care.
I ran a hand through my hair.Fuck. It was unlike me to not have drafts with a client before they even thought to ask. I was distracted by whatever this was with Margo and I was off my game. I couldn’t let up now. Just another month or two of giving it my all and I would finally be there.
I showered and skipped my workout, not letting myself think about Margo while I got ready for work. With any luck she would stay home today.Fat chance. She’d probably be there when I got in, already killing it.Shewasn’t distracted by me like I was her. I nearly growled in frustration.
When I got to the office she was there, her dark hair flowing over her shoulders and tight sleeveless turtleneck setting off her high cheekbones and dark eyes.
“Margo, hi.” I felt unsettled in own skin around her. Nervous energy made me run a hand over my jaw.
“Hi, how are you?” Her cheeks were pink and she dropped her eyes. My neck was hot. She was embarrassed about last night. Just as I had feared, though I had hoped against hope that she wouldn’t be.What did you expect after fooling around with her?
Luckily for her, I was too annoyed about my work to needle her. I gave her a short nod and went to my desk.
I threw myself into prep for the Bankman deal and start firing off emails to Brad and the new first year associate we had staffed. I was usually cordial but something in me felt brittle after the last few days with Margo. Confessing my darkest secret to her, and then that fantastic sex, and now her embarrassment, it was all too much.
I sent an “on it” to Ann after the third email from her and blew out a breath. I had to be careful or I was going to get a talking to about my attitude. The partners expected a level of subservience from us minions and I was not in the mood today. I wanted to put my fist through my computer, or run around the block ten times. Instead, I was here, in a suit that felt like it was strangling me, monitoring every breath Margo took and wondering how ashamed she was of our interlude. Based off her complete silence for the past few hours, I would venture to guess that she was very ashamed. I turned slightly so I could watch her work from the corner of my eye. She bit her lip while she typed out an email and her white teeth dug into the soft pink flesh just like my thumb had last night. A spike of lust went through me and I nearly groaned.
Of course, at that very moment, my phone rang. My mother picked the worst times to call. I pushed up from my desk and took the elevator to the lobby, all while letting my phone ring and go to voicemail. I wasn’t about to have this conversation in the office.
When I was out in the crisp air, I called her back.
“Andrew. It’s so good to hear from you.” Her voice was mild. She was the light to my father’s darkness but I had no doubt that this was calculated.
“You too, Mom.”
“Whatever happened with Portia? I saw her at the club today and she said you ran out of the restaurant? You never said anything to me.” Her tone was chiding. I hadn’t given her much information about the failed date for this very reason.
“It’s not going to work with her,” I replied curtly. Maybe she would drop it.
“Okay, well maybe someone else then. The Tanners have a nice daughter that actually just applied to law school. Let me see if I can get in touch with them next time —”
“Stop.”
She made a surprised sound. I never talked back to my mother.
“Mom, please. I don’t want this. I don’t want to go on these blind dates with girls barely out of college. I’ll meet someone when I’m ready. I don’t have time right now.” I held my breath. Would she understand?
“Andrew.” She sighed. “We’re just trying to help. If you’re going to sit at the helm of the family business, you need an appropriate wife there with you. Just go on one more date with Portia.”
