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When she had introduced me as her friend, it felt like I’d been stabbed in the stomach. On the drive the grocery store, all I’d heard in my head was her saying I was her friend and her neighbor. Such lukewarm words.
The way she had looked at me at dinner, like we were strangers, reminded me far too much of our past seven years instead of the past few weeks.Fight for this! I wanted to scream. I needed her to step over that line because I couldn’t bear to do it first.
Face facts, asshole. You’re not enough for her.Had I really imagined this going anywhere else? For a moment, maybe.You’re a fool.
Margo Clarke was not going to see how much she’d gotten to me. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction, and somehow, some way, I’d survive this.
Brick by brick, I built the walls back up around my heart.
36
Margo
The email in my inbox felt like a bomb waiting to explode. A bomb waiting to ruin the perfection of the last month of my life. But then again, I seemed to be doing a good enough job of that on my own.
To: Markman, Andrew; Clarke, Margo
From: Reed, Gerald
Cc: Dillon, Ann
Subject: Partner Committee Meeting
The firm’s annual partner retreat will occur at the end of next week.
That was it. Each of us knew the implications. Partner decisions were made the night before the retreat and the lucky winner would attend a weekend of being wined and dined.
I was shaky with nerves. Just two more weeks and we would know. I heard Andrew rustling around in his room and I squeezed my eyes shut, as if that would block out the sounds. I couldn’t avoid him all day though, so I opened my door. Of course he opened his at the same time. His perfect face, drawn with displeasure, made my heart skip. He was wearing his overcoat and I frowned.
“You’re leaving?” I wasn’t sure what I expected but it wasn’t this. A fight, a few words, then him disappearing.
“I think it’s for the best,” he responded crisply. “I said goodbye to your parents.”
I followed him out to the car, unsure how to handle this Andrew. This was the old him, who never showed a hint of what he was thinking or feeling. My gut twisted.
“Did you see the email?” The question popped out and I saw his shoulders tense.Of course he had seen the email. He had seen it and known what it meant, just like I did.
He rounded on me, eyes hard. “Yes, Margo. I saw the email. Is that all you have to say?” His tone was harsh and I inhaled sharply.
“There’s nothing else to say.” I forced the words out past the tightness in my chest. “One of us will make it, and the other one will have to leave. And if it’s me, how will you feel? Can you just look past that?” I waited, heart in my throat, for him to answer. He scanned my face, looking for something.
“Can you?”
“No.” My words were final and I looked away, eyes blurring.
“Me neither.” He threw the words back, his face harsh even through my tears.
“I thought, Andrew…” My throat clogged. “I thought we were friends.”
“Yes,friends.” He spat the words. “Just what I’ve always wanted. You’re such a fucking coward, Margo. I should have known.”
“I’m a coward?” Suddenly I was furious. Furious at him and his constant hiding and his soft smiles while he tried to destroy me. “You’re the one who told me not to worry, that you didn’t have feelings for me anymore!” My fists clenched. “It won’t be a problem.” I mimicked.
His eyes narrowed and I took a step back. “Would it have made a difference?” He asked.
Would I have given up my ambitions for him? How dare he ask that of me? He knew this was the one thing I wanted more than anything, and still he wanted me to compromise myself.Fucking typical.He hadn’t changed at all.
“No.” My voice was rough and my breaths caught in my throat. His eyes shuttered at my words. They were back to being the color of poison.
